Monday, July 7, 2008

go along with racism instead of calling it what it is



C is a white friend of mine who just moved into a new apartment a couple of months ago. She’s been increasingly upset lately, because she doesn’t enjoy living there yet, and she's not sure why. What’s really been bothering her is not so much the apartment itself nor the area of the city that it’s in. It’s more that, although she likes those things, she’s still not comfortable in her new living situation, and she just hasn't been able to figure out why.

Yesterday, as we talked about her feelings, she realized that the bad feeling about her new place has been coming to her in moments when she talks to her white friends, family members, and co-workers. In particular, this feeling about her new apartment seems to be connected to the common reaction among the white people she knows to the apartment, or rather to its location.

She moved from a rather bohemian, largely white part of her Midwestern American city to a largely non-white area. C says she doesn’t mind the area’s racial makeup, and that she even likes it. The apartment itself was actually the clincher—it’s nicer for the price than the one she’d been renting before. She says that lately, she’s enjoyed exploring the different kinds of people and shops and restaurants in the area, and that being in such a minority as a white person hasn’t caused any problems that she’s aware of.

C has every reason to like the apartment and its location, so we tried to talk through her lingering dissatisfaction with it. The more we talked, the more evident it became that it was the reaction of her friends and acquaintances, almost all of whom are white, that was somehow bothering her. Their feelings about the apartment, and especially about the neighborhood, and especially about the neighborhood's people, were affecting her own feelings about all of that.

What C was feeling, without quite realizing what it was, was a collective white fear of and disdain for the neighborhood and, especially, for the people living there. This common white attitude toward largely non-white neighborhoods was pressuring her in ways that she hadn’t realized were really about race, and racism.

“When I told my [white] friends and the people I work with where I live,” C said, “they all had the same reaction.”

C frowned and curled her lips as she imitated the incredulous disdain her friends, acquaintances, and family members: “’Why would you move to THAT part of town?’ ‘Why would you want to move THERE?’ ‘How will you ever get along with your neighbors?’ And so on.

“But here’s weird thing,” C continued. “I got to thinking about my reaction to what they were all saying. I realized after awhile that my reaction was always the same—I defended the neighborhood. ‘Oh, but it’s not so bad, not so bad at all!’ or ‘It’s really a much more interesting place, with more different things going on, and it has a lot of interesting restaurants and things that I didn’t have in my old neighborhood.'”

“Why is that weird?” I asked. “I mean, I think a lot of people in your situation would defend their new neighborhood. You made a decision to move there, and so you wanted to defend that decision. I don’t think most people would find your reaction weird . . .”

“Right, but the thing was, I knew at some level that their reactions were racist. I realized at some point, after hearing the same basic reaction again and again, and then saying the same things all the time in return, that neither one of us was talking about the real issue, the one they were really talking about—race.”

“Ah. Right. So, can you explain how you see that now as the real issue?”

“Well, it’s obvious now, and it really bothers me how we didn’t come out and just SAY it to each other. I mean, we’re all good, well-meaning people, or we think we are, but we’re really white people who are afraid of black neighborhoods. And Mexican people. We don’t want to be around those people if we don’t know them. And we sure don’t want to LIVE around too many of them. So their reactions to my neighborhood were racist. And instead of calling them on that, instead of pointing it out to them, I went along with this kind of unspoken racism. I played right along with it. Without even realizing I was doing that.”

My friend C’s voice had begun to shake, and then she started crying.

“I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head. “I just don’t know. I mean, it’s like that white privilege stuff that you write about on your blog. It really is there in all of this, somehow, and I played along with it! I’m so MAD that shit is in my head! I let their racism pass, each and every time, and I let the whole conversation be about my defense of the neighborhood, instead of . . .”

C sort of wiggled her hand in the air, then rubbed the fingers of that hand together as she frowned, trying to find the words. Then when she found some words, she clenched her hand into a fist.

“Instead of just calling them out on what they were really saying. On the racism of what they were really saying.”

C wiped away a line of tears on her cheek.

“I felt a pressure from them, a racist pressure. And instead of resisting that, let alone pointing it out, I went along with it. So I was acting racist too, even though I’m the one who moved into that neighborhood! Even though I like it, and I don’t really have that feeling they do about it being scary or whatever because it has so few white people.

“But I think, I still wasn’t liking the neighborhood, because, well you know, it’s a new place, and it is busier and noisier than my other place. But I wanted to tell you about this, because I realize now that I was sort of going along with that white fear of the place too, that my friends were expressing.”

“Expressing without really saying it,” I said.

“Right, because of course, THEY’RE not racists, they would say. Nobody’s a racist anymore, right? At least nobody I know, nobody THEY know. But I was letting how THEY felt about the place affect how I feel about it. Without even realizing that was going on.”

We were quiet for a minute or two.

C then said that she feels better about her new place because she’s no longer letting the feelings of other white people, people whom she otherwise likes and loves, affect her own feelings about the place. But she still feels bad about realizing that those people she loves have such strongly, unreasonably, fearfully racist attitudes. And there was her lingering anger, too, about having such feelings inside herself, feelings that she still has to overcome sometimes in her new surroundings.

I think that seemed to both of us like enough for now. Having figured out a thing or two about whiteness, we went on to talk in more detail about her new apartment, which I hadn’t seen yet, and about her neighbors. She says she’s kind of a loner, “kind of a hermit,” but she is getting to know some new “nice people.”

I don’t think C has her feelings about race in her neighborhood quite worked out yet, but I do think she sees something about herself and her white friends that she hadn’t seen before.

That something is not only a kind of veiled racism, which both she and her friends took part in. It's also the power of whiteness—what it’s done to her and to the white people she knows. How it’s trained them. And how white supremacy subtly coerces goodhearted white people into cooperation and complicity.

38 comments:

  1. Is your mind like Memorex or is there some declaimer posted somewhere that I missed?

    I appreciate the insight into real life occurrences like this but it's hard to believe that you're quoting people, word-for-word, in these long exchanges you post.

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  2. I'm very happy that your friend realized the conditioning she had been subjected to as a white person. I've been a white ally for over 8 years now and I still fall into those traps regularly and I'm like "Fuck! How did I not see that? I should have said something!" Often times, I feel even when I say something I could have been more direct, and not give up so easily. It's hard, but POCs have to deal with much worse. So, too bad for me.

    I hope that your friend continues to go down the path of enlightenment. I wish that white privilege was something that once you are exposed to the reality of it that you continue to gain insight into how much it controls and effects your life as a white person. But, I think often times people may see it for a while, and then shut down. Sometimes seeing and noticing all these things is just exhausting. Plus, having to deal with almost every white person, government/educational institution telling you that white privilege does not exist? It is easier to close yourself off to dealing with white privilege than it is to face it, and face others. I can relate to that.

    But, I think in the end...living a lie isn't much of a life, is it? And what good does it do for the world? For your self-respect? I support your friend and hope she continues as an anti-racist. Awareness was the first step for me, I hope it is for her as well.

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  3. Yeah, I do agree with nquest though. This:

    “Ah. Right. So, can you explain how you see that now as the real issue?”

    Does not sound to me like friends talking to each other, it sounds like you're conducting an interview.

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  5. I don’t think C has her feelings about race in her neighborhood quite worked out yet, but I do think she sees something about herself and her white friends that she hadn’t seen before.

    I wonder how true that is. I doubt that her friends and family just now developed those feelings and this was the only occasion when those feelings were expressed when C was around. I would assume that this may have been the first time C was caught in the middle and was, essentially, the subject of conversation as far as "those" people were concerned.

    Regardless, I don't think anyone with a heart or common sense would think that it would be easy to just up and challenge people close to you about any suspected fault. IMO, it would be completely natural for C to "go along" with the things her friends and family was saying (depending on the type of relationship she has with them).

    I don't fault C for giving them the benefit of the doubt or acting in denial of what she was witnessing especially since she apparently wanted to defend her move and only intuitively picked up on the racist/racial attitudes after reflecting on the steady drip, drip of so many of her friends and family reacting to her move in a way that eventually set off her "there's a pattern here!" alarm.

    People like to say that "racism is just more subtle now" without acknowledging how it takes time to pick up on those subtle hints especially when people don't like to be called/seen as racist and people don't like to accuse people, especially friends and family as racist...

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  6. nquest,

    I read his style of writing of this post to be in line with that of a memoir, not of a transcript.
    =================================

    macon d,

    I am sure that one of the things that her white friends/family/coworkers are fearful of is a crime happening to your friend because she lives amongst the darker others. This is an absolutely unwarranted and silly fear that whites [Americans] have of, particularly, black men. Statistics prove that most [violent] crimes are same race/ethnic group: A black person is usually the victim of a black, a white of a white, a Mexican of a Mexican, etc. A white woman friend of mine never feared being in Harlem [before it was gentrified, as it is now becoming majority white middle class]; whereas, I did [after certain hours] as a black woman. She knew her chances of being a victim of a violent crime were very, very low. Funny thing is--well, not so funny at the time--I was held up at gunpoint...in Harlem (when it was mostly black).

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  7. I read his style of writing of this post to be in line with that of a memoir, not of a transcript.

    Okay. That helps.

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  8. RedCatBiker,

    I made that intraracial nature of crime point over at The Debate Link blog Macon linked to. The only problem with pointing to those figures when it comes to the story here is that much of those numbers are, invariably, a function of how segregated neighborhoods are around the nation.

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  9. Funny thing is--well, not so funny at the time--I was held up at gunpoint...in Harlem (when it was mostly black).

    "Funny thing" being the irony of it, given what I wrote regarding crimes being committed same-race in my comment to your post.

    I was held up, at gunpoint, by two young (in their early twenties) black men in Harlem when its majority population was black.

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  10. nquest and lori, redcatbiker has it right, it's more like a memoir. I've been writing down conversations for years, usually the same day they happen, so I think I've gotten pretty good at remembering the words, and especially the basic spirit and points of the conversation. But yeah, they're never exact transcriptions, and they can't be. I hope I don't need a disclaimer somewhere for most readers to gather or presume that.

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  11. I totally buy the racism argument. However, I'd imagine the same reactions, from say, friends of a black person moving into a chinese neighborhood, or vice versa. Putting it down to a culture of 'white supremacy' strikes me as, well, a little bit racist.

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  12. @ jim roberts –

    you are right in that these types of conversations do take place in PoC situations. in my experience, the difference is that, for example, when talking with my family, the covert racism isn't in place. they will very openly say, "why do you want to go over by all those ______ people?" which then makes it obvious what their problem is and i will call them on it. sometimes it's a hard thing to do, particularly if it's a much older person, or an older family member. but at least by having it seen for what it is, the person is probably going to think twice before saying something similar, if only not in your presence.

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  13. My husband and I moved I to a well-off neighborhood of professionals and very successful people, mainly black.

    I feel like the "white trash" in the neighborhood in that our ability to buy the house was based more on family inherited money than professional success comparable to our neighbors' accomplishments.

    It's a very different dynamic than the one your friend is experiencing with her white friends.

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  14. i bought my house in a neighborhood like the one described here about six years ago. my way of heading off people's nonsensical fear-based reactions is to brag about my neighborhood. it's got the best food of nearly anywhere in town; it's got lots of family friendly parks; it's growing fast, yet still affordable for working families; and it's economically diverse (not all one income level or economic demographic - we get the full range here from rich to poor and everything in between). there isn't anywhere i'd rather live in this city. the "hipster" part of town is suffocatingly pretentious; the "upscale" areas are blindingly white; and the "quiet middle class" neighborhoods have been completely overrun by gentrification, house flippers, etc. and have lost their character. nobody gets to live in an enclave bigger than a single apartment complex here, because the one next door will invariably be of a completely different ethnic mix. the only thing i'd like to see improve here is the nightlife - but that's going to take a capital infusion from the hipsters, which could ruin this neighborhood. i guess that's the chance one has to take in this game. the most exciting thing i'm seeing here is the growth of locally owned small businesses, which i patronize at every opportunity, as do my neighbors. that kind of community spirit you can't buy for any money.

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  15. Your friend might want to seek out groups that are working to improve or enhance her neighborhood. No, I am NOT talking about gentrification. I have a very similar living situation. Bought a house here because it was affordable and convenient. There's more crime than what I'm used to, but I've become involved with the neighborhood association. You meet people and after awhile you stop seeing it through the eyes of the judgmental outsiders -- the ones who drive their SUV's 25 miles each way to work. You are right. Racism is insidious and every effort to combat it makes the world a better place.

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  16. I am sure that one of the things that her white friends/family/coworkers are fearful of is a crime happening to your friend because she lives amongst the darker others. This is an absolutely unwarranted and silly fear that whites [Americans] have of, particularly, black men.

    As I recall, blacks (in particular young black men) commit violent crime at a rate about four times their proportion of the population (e.g 40-50% of murders whereas they are about 12-13% of the population) and at about eight times the rate that whites do, so it is hardly an unwarranted fear.

    Statistics prove that most [violent] crimes are same race/ethnic group: A black person is usually the victim of a black, a white of a white, a Mexican of a Mexican, etc.

    True, but that is largely due to segregation, not because criminals prefer to target people of the same race. That is, most people live in areas dominated by the same ethnic group as themselves, so crime targets of the same race as one's self are easier to find.

    Put another way, most criminals do not have easy access to people of other races. Therefore, the fact that most crime is same race/ethnic group should not be taken to mean that a white person is safer in a black neighborhood than a white one.

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  17. Glaivester said:

    As I recall, blacks (in particular young black men) commit violent crime at a rate about four times their proportion of the population (e.g 40-50% of murders whereas they are about 12-13% of the population) and at about eight times the rate that whites do, so it is hardly an unwarranted fear.


    Your "statistics" about the rate of violent crimes committed by black men seems grossly over-exaggerated. And, after skimming one of your blogs, I am not surprised.

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  18. As I posted/quoted elsewhere:

    1) Tim Wise video re: the curious spike in "Black" crime rates

    2) Sen. Jim Webb's "key point" on how the "growth in the [Black] prison population [for example] is due to changing policy, not increased crime."


    So, yes, Glaivester. What exactly do you think your point is?

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  19. Your "statistics" about the rate of violent crimes committed by black men seems grossly over-exaggerated.

    Here are the statistics based on race, as compiled by the government. (Note: Hispanics are not broken out as a separate category, but can be identified as either white or black).

    It does not look as if my statistics are exaggerrated (at least in terms of race, the statistics I linked to do not refer to age or gender, so I guess you could still argue I am wrong about young black men).

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  20. I watched the Tim Wise video. He made at least one mistake in his presentation. He claimed that 60% of violent crime in the U.S. was committed by non-Hispanic whites.

    As I recall, the DoJ does not break down Hispanics as a separate category when it comes to crime (altrhough they are broken down as a separate category when it comes to imprisonment), so I question whether an official statistic for violent crimes committed by non-Hispanics whites exist. I think he probably looked at the "white rate" and assumed that it meant "non-Hispanic white" when in reality, most Hispanics are probably included in the "white" category.

    I will admit that I cannot find any "violent crime by race" statistics immediately, but the "homicide by race" statistics I linked to certainly support this point.

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  21. Note:

    The previous statistics I linked to were specifically about homicide, not about violent crime in general; and the example I used initially was murders.

    I was using homicide as a proxy for violent crime, but on second thought, I will admit that i do not immediately have any statistics on violent crime as a general category. Nonetheless, I will stand by the statement that the statistics show that blacks commit homicides at a much higher rate than whites, and that this is probably a reasonable proxy for overall violent crime rates.

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  22. Glaivester,

    In the clip, Wise says, "you know, 60% of all violent crimes are committed by Whites -- white non-Hispanic" (at about the 2:50 mark). Earlier, he referenced the increased incarceration rates of Blacks and Hispanics. So I don't see what the "mistake" is. Looks like more of a clarification or distinction.

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  23. So, this "proxy" thing is your excuse for making the mistake of thinking you refuted or effectively cast aspersion on what Wise said or offered any point that says anything beyond the superficial.

    Wise video was 1 of 2. Sticking by your unexamined "higher rates" argument or claiming that Wise made a 'mistake' (that you can't refute) tells us nothing about the reason why the higher rates exists and what relevance those higher rates have to this discussion.

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  24. Also, your assumption about homicide rates being predictive of overall violent crime is a... mistake:

    In 2005--

    * Black and white persons experienced similar rates of simple assault.

    * Black, white, and other races experienced about the same rates of rape/sexual assault.


    http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/cvict_v.htm#race

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  25. In the clip, Wise says, "you know, 60% of all violent crimes are committed by Whites -- white non-Hispanic" (at about the 2:50 mark). Earlier, he referenced the increased incarceration rates of Blacks and Hispanics. So I don't see what the "mistake" is. Looks like more of a clarification or distinction.

    What I meant is that I do not think that there are any official statistics for U.S. crime rates that separate non-Hispanic white from Hispanic white, so I doubt that there was anywhere where Wise could get that statistic from. I think he probably took the "white" crime rate (from the DoJ) and assumed incorrectly that it did not include Hispanics.

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  26. Hey Glaivester, NEVER E-MAIL ME WITH ANYTHING EVERY AGAIN!

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  27. is it only odd to me that of all of C's friends not one bothers to acknowledge the economic reasons behind her move?

    It's like they can't believe someone who looks like them has been 'forced' to be amongst the savages....although she has more space.

    unraveling these feelings may not make the world a better place but at least there is and can continue to be a place where they can be discussed.

    also re: black men and crime ...I don't have the stat but I do believe most of these crime victims are other blacks.

    All crime is bad but its worthwhile to keep in mind when the demonization of black men begins.

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  28. Glaivester, what you said earlier was misleading. Again, Wise actual statement including him saying "White." That settles your issue despite Wise going on to add "non-Hispanic" White.

    And you simply can't dispute Wise unless he claimed to gotten the stat from a particular source that doesn't support his claim or unless you can show, using "official" crime stats, that he is incorrect.

    Beyond that, you've still yet to explain what all this side talk has to do with the topic here and how relevant the Black crime stat you quoted is relevant when you still have to deal with point #2, let alone the skyrocketing jump in Black incarceration that came after the civil rights era that Wise talked about.

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  29. Further, these "official" Personal Crimes of Violence stats here stipulate WHITE (and Black) ONLY.

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  30. The way I see it, from the numbers in that Personal Crimes of Violence chart, Whites commit almost 6 times as many "crimes of violence" than Blacks. (I'm using the 3,283,030 aggregate number for WHITE ONLY and the 556,140 figure listed for BLACK ONLY in the first "crime of violence" category before each specific violent crime is broken down.)

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  31. nquest said: Beyond that, you've still yet to explain what all this side talk has to do with the topic here and how relevant the Black crime stat you quoted is relevant when you still have to deal with point #2, let alone the skyrocketing jump in Black incarceration that came after the civil rights era that Wise talked about.

    nquest,

    glaivester is a troll. As well, he is a right-wing, racist, sexist, faux-libertarian homophobe. There, I think I covered it all about him. You need only check out the blogs listed in his profile, especially the first one, to see that I am correct in my assessment of him. He has baited his hook and dropped his line into the water of this blog in the hope that he would get a bite: You bit. You cannot change his mind about how he thinks , and as a consequence, [probably] reacts and interacts [if he has to], with black people. His mind is made up. You are just wasting your time with him. You should consider your time too valuable and irreplaceable to give any of it to the likes of him; for people such as him hate you, and me, from the soles of their feet to the top of their heads.

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  32. You cannot change his mind about how he thinks

    That's clearly not my intent or purpose in posting the counter-arguments I have.

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  33. Thanks to Macon for sharing the story. I found it very interesting and thought provoking. I've been finding myself more aware of the racial ambience of both my conversations (past and present) and the places I go, in large part thanks to it being brought to my attention by the writing on this blog.

    And thanks to Nquest for taking the time to refute Glaivester. I appreciate the time you took out of your day to do so.

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  34. nquest:

    Thank you for the statistics. I do not think that I would have found them on my own.

    Something is definitely strange when the relative homicide rates by race are so different than the relative rates of other violent crimes by rae, although I am not sure why this is.

    I will have to listen to the Tim Wise video again and see what I think.

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  35. That should read:

    Something is definitely strange when the relative homicide rates by race are so different than the relative rates of other violent crimes by race, although I am not sure why this is.

    Sorry about the typo.

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  36. I think I had a similar experience when I lived in Durham, NC. Everybody else I knew from the area was living in Cary (which is full of little HOAs all hell-bent on making sure every house is the appropriate shade of cream, beige, or very light blue) and when I moved to Durham, everyone was amazed and kept saying how dangerous it was. Meh. Statistically, Cary was a very safe town, and Durham technically had a higher crime and poverty rate. But no more than many other cities.

    I remember thinking at the time that everybody was making this ridiculous flap over Durham, but something still seemed off, and I'm thinking maybe this was it. Perhaps what the subtext was among all my white acquaintances was, "Man, there's sure a lot of people not the same colour as us. Ergo, must be dangerous." I wish I'd realised it before as well.

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  37. Pixelfish, what is HOAs?

    I lived in Durham in the '70s as a student and there was -- and I assume there is still? -- a startling, sad discrepancy between the black and white sections of town.

    When my roommate and I ate in some local restaurants away from the then-only vegetarian one we usually went to, we were struck by the visible ill-health of the customers who were poor and black. Is there more of a black middle class there now? Or maybe there was then and I was only seeing through one lens.

    I trust black people more than white and poor people more than rich because of rich peoples' power to screw people in major ways.

    I had a sociology prof who really made us see that Duke had the political power in local politics and the poor had none, my first understanding that one's vote is subject to the power players in a community and I suddenly questioned, where is true democracy?It would be interesting to hear how Durham is doing now as far as racial justice and racial economic justice.

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  38. My mother-in-law drops weird crypto-racist bombshells every now and again. When my daughter was about 1 or so, I was reading to her on the couch from a picture book called "Peekaboo Morning". My MIL was watching quietly across the room, and after I was done she asked my wife, "Do you think he should be reading that to her? She might find it confusing". My wife asked her what she meant and my MIL said obliquely, "Well, you know, the people in the story don't look like her".

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