A Woman Who Looks White
The woman on the TV talk show looks white, is confident, unerring, and unashamed of herself; but the audience doesn't believe she is black, not the blacks or the whites, and they are all angry that she has dyed her hair blond. They accuse her of dating whites, though she says, and I believe, that she has never dated whites. Here attitude is tough: "I know I'm black, and I don't care what you think of me." She is definitely not sucking up to any of them.
The blacks and the whites are allied in their hatred. Perhaps the whites are mad because they don't want to think that anyone who looks as white as they do could be black. They don't want the lines to be fuzzy. If somebody who could be one of them doesn't want to be, maybe being white isn't as great as they thought. And many blacks have worked hard not to want to be that woman. The irritant might creep under the door. Some of us, without thinking, may still refer to her "good" hair.
Several young men at an all-black college recently told me that in their dreams they saw themselves as colorless or white. Sometimes a sin in thought, even if uncommitted, is just as stinking. When we look at her we remember that somebody made somebody else feel like shit and then preferred the world that way.
If she had been white, her self-possession under attack may have been admirable. But for a black woman--and a light-skinned black woman at that, who should at least be sorry for her color--to be so imperturbable, to have gotten away with her own self-worth . . . well, it seemed totally wrong, as if she had gotten away with murder.
She shows photographs of relatives from several generations back, all of whom look like the most middle-class people from Iowa--men in business suits, educators, lawyers, doctors, ministers, and women with fluffy soft hair and a sense of security in their eyes. It is as if the family built a city around her heart which had protected her from what we are all supposed to suffer, as if she hadn't yet heard the news.
Toi Derricote's books include The Empress of the Death House, Natural Birth, Captivity, and Tender, winner of the 1998 Patterson Poetry prize, and a memoir, The Black Notebooks. The Black Notebooks was a recipient of the 1998 Anisfield-Wolf Book Award, the Black Caucus of the American Library Association of Nonfiction Award, and was nominated for the PEN Martha Albrand Award for the Art of the Memoir. It was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year. She is Co-Founder of Cave Canem, the historic first workshop/retreat for African American poets.
I have a blindspot when it comes to black people who pass. I've even cut people like Clarence Thomas slack on charges against his "blackness" because I believe no matter how much hatred of self and hatred of others like him he bears, he still wakes up and looks at himself in the mirror. He is a dark chocolate brother, and reconciling his notion of America with that reality must be distractingly difficult.
ReplyDeleteI mean all that to say, people who pass are the only ones I ever think of a "race traitors." That is an ugly phrase, and I like to think of myself as "better than that" but there is something reprehensible to me about participating in racism to "fit in" to have life a little "easier."
And the kicker? At least in the excerpt you link, I do ALL of those things in my white neighborhood and am usually received warmly. I don't know what her problem is.
Sorry, but I don't like the one-drop rule. Or the two-drop rule. It creates colourism and promotes white purity. She is what she is...and that probably is mixed. I accept that others may disagree but our experience with racism has forced people to pick sides, despite their actual genetic ancestral makeup. Black and white seems that have less and less to do with ancestry and more to do with allegiance.
ReplyDeleteSorry...I had sticky fingers. Here's the last part of what I wanted to say: Black and white increasingly seems to be less about ancestry and more about allegiance.
ReplyDelete@Kandee, I have no problem with Tiger Woods identification of Cablanasian. None. But when you do have that "one drop" to deny the existence of that "one drop" given the racial landscape in America is reprehensible IMHO.
ReplyDeleteAnd with all due respect, if you believe that someone like Clarence Thomas can pledge allegiance to white folks and be accepted as white, you and I are experiencing very different realities of life in America.
although I understand the point of the author, there is no denying the privilege that comes with "that good hair". This is particularly true for me because every little black girl grows up knowing that there is only one such way to get "good hair"; have a parent who is not a nappy headed negro.
ReplyDeleteI definitely support the idea of telling ancestry in its fullness, but it hurts when some of those who are able to pass slip silently into white skin privilege that we blacks who fail the paper bag test could only dream of
@Carmen D - You mentioned Clarence Thomas, not me. And he's a white ally, not white.
ReplyDelete@C.Jarelle - I agree. They are required to deny (not mention) part of their ancestry to obtain that privilege. That's what hurts.
@Kandee, YOU said:
ReplyDelete"Black and white seems that have less and less to do with ancestry and more to do with allegiance."
I pulled Clarence Thomas to refute your point, that's all.
Have you heard about the recent surge in Black Holocaust awareness? I passed by the museum in Milwaukee last week while on vacation, and I'm wondering what you think of it.
ReplyDeletethere has to be some accountability for those who pass. you can't go through life pretending you don't know what you look like.
ReplyDeleteit doesn't come down to being a "race traitor" or not, to me anyway. if a black woman passes for white, she doesn't have a responsibility to tell everyone she meets "i'm black you know."
BUT those who identify as black but can pass as white should at least acknowledge that their appearance has some effect on the way they exist in society.
Y'know...she looks black to me!
ReplyDeleteSorry, but I don't like the one-drop rule. Or the two-drop rule. It creates colourism and promotes white purity. She is what she is...and that probably is mixed. I accept that others may disagree but our experience with racism has forced people to pick sides, despite their actual genetic ancestral makeup. Black and white seems that have less and less to do with ancestry and more to do with allegiance.
ReplyDeleteKandee,
Historically these "black people" were the upper tier of the black community. They were able to pass, and these same people created a color hierarchy. Paper bag tests, blue vein societies, even HBCUs and greek orders subscribed to this mindset. There is still resentment there. Like there is still resentment about slavery and segregation, there is still anger about this color hierarchy that was created and still affects blacks to this day.
Not to mention most black americans with slave ancestry are mixed. Do we consider them all mixed, or categorize people based on how they look?
Black and white increasingly seems to be less about ancestry and more about allegiance.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kandee, that's a great way to put that.
I'm reminded of the Tiger Woods controversy on all this. His allegiance was NOT with the Af Am community (such as it is), despite the fact that most people who see him would call him that.