This is a guest post by Doreen Yomoah, a vagabond currently residing in Shanghai. She's also a founding mother of the Women’s Liberation Army, a motley crew of women scattered throughout the globe who are sick of injustice and planning to do something about it. (She also wrote this popular swpd post: "fail to distinguish african immigration from slavery descent.")
Things you should definitely do to a black person this summer:
Make well-informed observations like, “You’re lucky, you can’t get sunburned.” Melanin isn’t just skin pigmentation; it’s magic! As everyone knows, even though PIGS and TREES can get sunburned, black people cannot.
If you see a black person applying sunscreen, you should ask them, “Why are you worried about skin cancer? You’re black!” As everyone knows, never in the history of time has a black person ever gotten skin cancer. And we are certainly not more likely to die from it than whites.
If a black person you know tries to stay out of the sun, you should say some variation of, “Why? You can’t get any darker.” That is a logical assumption to make because black people, in fact, do not have human skin. Therefore, it does not get darker in the sun, the way every other race’s skin does.
Something that black people absolutely adore is when white people grab our arms and hold theirs next to ours and say, “Look! I’m almost as dark as you are!!!” This makes us feel almost as human as white people.
You should make jokes like, “[insert black person’s name] should go tanning!!!” This is hilarious and gets funnier and funnier each time you hear it. It was amusing the first time I heard it, and now, 12 years later, I actually look forward to hearing people say it each summer, because it’s just so original and clever.
In general, make it a point to talk at every opportunity about how tan you are/are not. This is an incredibly fascinating topic to discuss ad nauseum.
These are things that white people do that black people look forward to each and every single summer.
Please don’t let us down by neglecting to do them, again, and again, and again, and . . .
Oh yeah the side by side skin comparisons are always fun (the best part of the summer months). I absolutely love how my skin is seen as the benchmark for the tanning efforts of the melanin challenged. I love how some white folks say they wish they could be as dark as I am (but not really), makes me feel so special...pfffft!
ReplyDeleteTee-hee! You know these things don't bother me too much when they come from a clear naiveté. I guess for the most part we would hope this type of repartee to be a thing of the past. But we humans have held on to much of our xenophobia and frankly still don't know ourselves (read each other) that well, sadly.
ReplyDeleteThese comments do annoy the crap out of me when presented in a nervous fashion as if to say, "I really don't know how to talk to you 'people,' sooooo, I'll try the obvious." This type of comment gives birth to an enormous elephantine problem in the space.
What's funny is that I was thinking this exact thing as I walking home from work, but only in a "If one of them does this to me, so help me God. . ."
ReplyDeleteI honestly had the summer because of people doing that. It's not funny when you first did it and it's not funny three years later.
People actually say these things? Ye gods.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure naivete quite explains it. The fact remains that those in power have the luxury of being ignorant about those not in power, and many are content to remain so.
I loved this post! I especially love hearing that I can't possibly get sunburned or tan because I'm black. When I point out my father (who is also black) got a rather bad sunburn after falling asleep on a beach in Vietnam, the look of utter confusion I receive in return is priceless. Seriously though, if one more person (black or not) ask me why I slather on sunscreen before I go for a run, I'm going off.
ReplyDeleteMore on topic: I really enjoy this blog!
Just use some clever comebacks like
ReplyDelete"Wow, I get to stay this way all my life and not return t a pasty color later."
"Wow, my skin looks like skin, not leather".
"Wow, tanning is actual skin damage."
"No, we don't look the same. You're orange. I'm honey-colored" Or, "You look like an Oompa-Loompa. I do not."
...Just use some clever comebacks like
ReplyDelete"Wow, I get to stay this way all my life and not return t a pasty color later."
"Wow, my skin looks like skin, not leather".
"Wow, tanning is actual skin damage."
"No, we don't look the same. You're orange. I'm honey-colored" Or, "You look like an Oompa-Loompa. I do not."
*Choking on my Cap-n-Crunch*
CTFU and LMBAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lawd you're gonna give me a damn stroke!!!
i work with 2 blondes and a red head so i usually weigh in the second the conversation starts and say.. oh yeah, i got such a 'colour' using my usual spf 30 and take my ring/watch off to show them the difference in colour on my finger/wrist.... it usually stops the questions and shortens the whole conversation by about 50%...
ReplyDeleteIt's not just summer. Whenever anyone goes away to a warm climate for vacation I'm gonna get the skin-to-skin comparisons.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, I aim to please.
ReplyDeleteBesides, I'd hate for you to choke on Cap'n Church. Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries is my favorite.
Hey, Doreen here- this web proxy isn't letting me leave a name. LMAO at all of you, especially honeybrown 1976!
ReplyDeletemy partner isn't "black/african descent"... but he's south asian and gets the whole "dark skin doesn't burn" thing too...
ReplyDeleteWhile I've never had white people do the following things to me (maybe because I always just put the sunscreen on when they're not around as to avoid the unintentionally ignorant comments) I HAVE been witness to this too many times to count:
ReplyDeleteIn general, make it a point to talk at every opportunity about how tan you are/are not. This is an incredibly fascinating topic to discuss ad nauseum.
I used to have a friend who always did this! I swear, half of our conversations were about her tanning appointment, and how she was getting to pale, and although I thought I'd blocked it out...how I'm so lucky to be brown!
Just FYI white folks. Us black folks can get sunburned, it happened to me. I went to the doctor. I am for real.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I hate that crap. It is like logic escapes folks. You don't think I can get darker or lighter? I think the folks who believe this think most black folks are all the same shade and that we have no genetic diversity.
The realization that maybe, just maybe you can sunburn or "darken" means black people are human after all kind of scares me in the year 2009.
I can get over most of the comments white folks make, except for the "man, I wish I was as dark as you" or "you're so lucky..."
ReplyDeleteI want to SCREAM! If only we could switch skins for 6 hrs (I'm convinced that's all the time they'd need to eat those words). Lord I can't stand how ignorant white folks can be sometimes.
Ultimately, I really don't understand the tanning thing and their constant need to complain about it. Sweet GOD already with that. We get it, you wanna be darker... you can't stay darker... life sucks for you (cry, cry, cry)
Great post. I so agree. I have taken to showing them MY tan, especially when I get back from somewhere near the equator and get really dark. My Mom sunburns, I got a sunburn once as a baby and I think I may have had a mild one on my shoulders one summer after spending a week in the Caribbean. Once my Mom went on a trip to the Phillipines as part of a Rotary Program and a white lady on the trip asked her if black people got suntan. She told her to wait and see. I can just imagine that woman keeping an eye on my Mom for shades of darkening. I must admit though, my Mom is pretty light and when she gets a tan, and if I haven't gotten much darker than my usual tone I'll hold my arm up to her and say, "you are almost as dark as me!" Little diff though than a white person doing this to a black person, esp since she is my Mom
ReplyDeleteall i can do is nod my head here. great post.
ReplyDeleteoh, i also love it when my white associates who tan super dark will say, "look, wendi, i am darkER than you now!" wooh boy. let's throw a party!
ReplyDelete"Something that black people absolutely adore is when white people grab our arms and hold theirs next to ours and say, 'Look! I’m almost as dark as you are!!!'"
ReplyDeleteWhen I teach Racial and Ethnic Relations, on day one, I have everybody put themselves in a circle in skin tone order to demonstrate that so-called racial groups are NOT as clearly delineated as everybody usually assumes. The "White" folks typically act as if they can't figure out how to decide where they fall in the circle. "Compare arms," I tell them. Jacks everybody up right quick and lets 'em know they're in MY world now. Hee hee.
I had a friends mom ask me of her half white/black granddaughter, "Will she darken up?"
ReplyDeleteI told her, "probably when she is in the sun". The baby was the color of Halle Berry at the time. The utter look of horror on her face was both funny and sad.
Sadly years later my sister called me about a co-worker who had just had a baby with her black hubby and was distressed the baby was born brown!
I told my sister to tell her to just wait until summer when the baby gets darker. My sister refused to do it because she feared she might not care for the child if she told her that.
We wonder why even have children with a PoC if you want a white baby?
Do white people actually, like really, believe this stuff? Sure they do. Stupid is as stupid does. Life is like a box of chocolates, some melt, others shimmer.
ReplyDeleteOne of my best friend's skin color is akin to finely polished mahogany. She literally turns a shade of purple black in less than one hour in the sun. She's more allergic than I am!
When we went to Jamaica, we spent our time on the beach slathered in SPF, under an umbrella, and watched all the other fools turn red. Puzzled blondes wondering what a black woman was doing under a beach umbrella.
Nice breeze, bleached beach sand, green blue water, some cocktails, watching white folks cook outdoors. What could be more fun?
*sigh* people really have to stop underestimating the impact of the sun on human skin, tanning is crazy *shakes head* skin cancer people! CANCER!
ReplyDeletegood onya to all here who pile on the SPF and take shelter under the shade of umbrellas!
Wendi, next time they said that to you, say
ReplyDelete"Shut up, N-word", accuse them of stealing something, tell them they are articulate, ask to touch their hair, or "Tell them to get to the back of the room."
See if they dance then.
Sometimes shock or disbelief about black people using sunscreen/getting sunburns isn't caused by some sort of malice, or assumptions based on "I get burned but 'they' dont", sometimes its based on assumptions that only a tiny number of people actually need sunscreen at all... particuarly when children are the ones asking.
ReplyDeleteUntil middle school I thought that only super super white people burned. My blonde stepmom, my ginger best friend from elementary school. I spent my early years in southern california, mostly outside, with my mom. Neither of us wore sunscreen. Neither did anybody we knew who wasn't blonde. My various hispanic relatives didn't, my mom didn't. I didn't know. When we moved to the pacific northwest suddenly all these ridiculously pale people were trying to put sunscreen on me, and I didn't understand.
At girl scout camp it was always a point of pride for me that I hadn't packed sunscreen. One year we were at the dock and my bunkmate, who was black, was putting on sunblock, and we got into an interesting debate. I definitely understood that black people could theoretically get sunburns, and that everyone could get skin cancer, but since I hadn't ever burned at camp I didn't see what she was worried about. I remember saying "ok, I understand, but we're in Washington, its not likely that anybody is going to burn up here".
Years later I got my first real sunburn while in central america and now have much less hubris about the sun. Its still hard to get a sunburn in Washington. There just isn't enough sun.
Jules, I understand your point but why would you get into a debate with someone regarding why they were wearing sunscreen assuming you asked her and not she asking you?
ReplyDeleteI always were sunscreen if I'm going to be in the sun, even in NYC. it would annoy me if i had a defend my choice to wear it. I never minded or care if other people do or do not. I also try to stay out of conversations regarding tanning salons, but that's just me.
Oh my gosh, I live at the beach and I see this all the time. I have actually seen white people walk up to black people (whom they do not know) and do some variation of those behaviors listed. It infuriates me. The way some white people obsess over skin color and "tanness" makes me sick. I am a white girl with naturally blonde hair and blue eyes and I am terrified of skin cancer so I stay out of the sun as much as I can. Because of this, I have quite milky/pale skin. For some reason many white people feel like they have the right to make comments or jokes about my skin because I am not tanned. Complete strangers will come up, grab my arm and compare themselves to me as a joke, or ask me if I am sick--because only a "sick" person would forget that necessary bronze glow. This is sort of off topic but...another thing I get a lot is strangers will come up to me and literally PULL my hair demanding to know if it is my natural color or not. I dont understand why some people feel like they have the right to treat people who don't resemble the "norm" like they are objects. Has anyone else had to deal with this?
ReplyDeleteYes, the summer tends to turn the lightest skinned people into "freaks". I have very dark hair, so theoretically, I should tan, right? And in fact, both of my parents tan up like shoe leather, but I go from "glow in the dark" to "burn".
ReplyDeleteNow, I'm able to use "I work nights" as an excuse, but because it's *physically possible* for many people with light skin to change their skin color in the summer, it's perfectly ok to tell them to do so and berate them if they don't.
It's especially bad when they know you're part Native, because how can you even be that color to start with? Never mind the many people who've shown me their status cards when buying stuff who are just as pale...and *blonde*. I've even met some full blooded natives even lighter than I am, and dark haired. Usually I'm only beaten by redheads. That must make their heads explode. Because we all look just like the front of a Chicago Blackhawks jersey.
And no, people don't ask before they touch my hair, either. It's like it has enough of a life of its own that people feel the need to shake hands with it separately.
Hah! I burn if I don't wear sunscreen or remember to apply it if I'm out for a really long time. One year, I fell asleep on the beach and really burned the heck out of myself. I'm thinking, great, this will show them blacks can not only burn but peel as well. Alas, this was not to be. No less than 3 people told me that a) I wasn't peeling because black people don't burn and therefore cannot peel and b)it was really some skin condition that I should have looked at. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteCome on White People (those who believe this stupid stuff). Black people do get darker in the sun. Black people do get sunburned, it happens quite often. I work for a Dermatologist and Black people do get skin cancer. True it doesn't happen often but it does happen. My kids and I have been going to the waterpark all summer and we all are about 3 shades darker and several of got sunburned, and guess what....... all of our noses a cheeks are peeling!!!!
ReplyDeleteI've done my share of being ignorant, which I think makes posts like this important in educating people. Most of the places I've lived (mainly Asia) hardly have any black people around, so I wasn't used to thinking about it. One day I befriended a black British guy and we got talking about what color stocking looks good on girls. He said black. But at the time my default image of girls were either Asian or white. So black stockings on them, in my mind, meant they were trying too hard to be sexy. So I said, 'No way. Not black. Skin color is definitely nicer.' And he calmly said, 'Oh? Really? And what color is that?' I said, 'Uh, duh, the color of skin, what else?' And he gently said, 'Describe to me what color that is.' I said, 'Duh, cream color.' He said, 'And if I had a sister would that look good on her?' I went silent for a few seconds as my folly finally dawned on me. I was slightly embarrassed, but it was pretty awesome how that one lesson seemed to open up a whole new way of thinking for me. And it was awesome how he taught me the lesson in a very gentle way. Much appreciated.
ReplyDeleteOn a different note, I can get over most of the comments white folks make, except for the "man, I wish I was as dark as you" or "you're so lucky..."
Yeah. In the midst of a heated argument about whether or not racism exists, a white friend once said to me, 'You have nice skin. Look at mine, it's so ugly, etc.'...boy, did I almost scream. I had never been angrier with a friend. I found it UTTERLY condescending. I thought, I KNOW that I have nice skin. I like my skin. Yes, as a teenager I used to wish I had double eyelids, blond hair, etc. But I now love the way I am. Small eyes and all. I don't need YOU to tell me that my skin is nice. It was SO patronizing. Never been angrier with a friend. Never.
Interestingly, as a white person, though I don't doubt these types of conversations exist, the only time this conversation has ever come up between me and my Hispanic girlfriend was when she was explaining to me how she doesn't need to use sunscreen when I offered her some. I'll be sure to link her to that BBC article and this post. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteFYI: I read an article (I want to say in Newsweek, but I don't really remember) about an uptick in skin cancer found on the soles of the feet of black, Hispanic, and Asian women. Obviously, since the bottom of your feet aren't getting much sun, it's a mystery that the cancer would crop up there, and on that specific demographic.
ReplyDeleteUh you're an idiot and sound a bit racist. Yes black ppl do in fact tan and can get sunburned. I live in Texas and went to a wedding yesterday with 100+ degree temperature held outside. I wore a sundress and it's real obvious right now where the cuts in my dress are
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, who are you calling an idiot? If it's the author of the post, you've got it all wrong. This post is satiric -- it's satire. It's about things white people often say to black people about their skin. And its author fully agrees with you.
ReplyDeleteLOL...This reminds me of the days when I worked in an old people's home (It was strictly Jewish), and this old lady, who was always making comments about black people looked at my arms and said to me. You have such a lovely brown tan...I nearly pissed my pants.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I don't think she meant it in a bad way. But she was an old lady and some of them often come out with these sorts of statements, I find.
Also, Black people do get burned by the sun, the whole point of having a specific skin colour is to protect and shield us from the sun. So, Black people originated from an extremely hot climate and our skin and hair is adapted for that, just as White people are adapted to a colder climate. However, this does not mean that we should sit languishing in the sun as the sun can damage the skin regardless of whether you are dark or light in complexion.