I'm not writing today to share jokes with you (though I will do that); I'm writing about jokes. "White" jokes, that is. Trouble is, I can't think of any, and they're difficult to find.
One "take-a-break" web site has this "white-people" joke, which attempts to explain the difficulty of finding other jokes like itself:
Why is it so hard to find racist white jokes?
Cause being white is bad enough already.
You've probably heard jokes about black people, and Chinese people, and about "Mexicans" and other particular groups of non-white people. You've probably also heard jokes about women, and about gay people, and about "fat" people, and maybe even about "skinny" people.
But how many jokes have you listened to a friend or co-worker tell you about just plain "white" people? Maybe a lot of them are out there, and people just aren't telling them to me because I'm white.
Non-white comedians often tell jokes about white people (and that no-longer-with-us white guy George Carlin even did it, at least once). But I'm talking about the kinds of jokes that ordinary people tell each other, "screw-in-a-lightbulb" jokes, or "walk-into-a-bar" jokes. I doubt you've heard many jokes of that sort about "white" people--at least, I haven't, and they're hard to find with The Google. Why is that?
A lot of white people tell "ethnic" jokes to each other. As Carlos Mencia points out, "You white people love ethnic jokes. You just don't like laughing in public when the ethnic people are watching you."
Do non-white people tell jokes about white people when white people aren't watching them? Well, if they do, I would think The Google could find them.
Now, I'm not talking about jokes about certain kinds of white people. It's true that "Dumb blond" jokes are jokes about white people, as are jokes about "white trash," or Polish people, or Irish people. However, those are not jokes about all white people, in the same sense that "black people/n-word" jokes or "Mexican" jokes usually are jokes about all the people in those groups (or sometimes, all the men or all the women in those groups).
Actually, one problem here may be that simply "white" people don't really exist. If you look closely at any white person, you'll see that they're more accurately classifiable as a certain kind of white person--middle class, Midwestern, MILF, New Yorker, rich, jock, soccer mom, hockey mom, blue collar worker, or Joe Sixpack (not to be confused with Joe Camel, who was, you know, a camel--but maybe a white camel?).
But then, a close, careful look at people in other groups reveals that that's true about them too. All sort of different black, or Arab American, or Native American people exist, and "Asian American" is an incredibly diverse category. So if that's true, then why are there so many jokes that homogenize the members of non-white groups, but so few jokes that do the same with white people?
Actually, my skillful manipulations of The Google Machine did turn up a few "white" jokes that don't seem to be "some type of white person" jokes. I've included a few examples below.
Do they work for you? And again, maybe many "white" jokes exist, but I just haven't heard them--do you know of any others?
How many white people does it take to change a light bulb?
Zero--they pay a minority person to change it for them.
A man goes into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his neck. Naturally, the doctor asks what happened to him.
"Well, it pretty much goes like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my dear wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
"We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball. . . stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Holy cow, Edna, this looks like yours!'"
There's a black guy, white guy, Asian guy and a Hispanic guy. They climb a gigantic mountain.
When they get to the top the Asian man jumps off and says, "This is for my people!"
The Hispanic man jumps off too, screaming, "This is for my people!"
The black man throws the white man off the mountain and says, "This is for MY people!"