Monday, June 2, 2008

talk about race with non-white people

I've been writing this blog for about two months now, and last Friday's post was my effort to think out loud about who my readers are and about what they seem to be getting out of the site. The many responses in the Comments section were overwhelming, and humbling.

Thank you to everyone who committed their thoughts to that discussion thread; I'll be reading it many times over as I assess the future of Stuff White People Do. I'm very satisfied so far that so many readers, both non-white and white, are finding this blog useful in their efforts to think through whiteness, and racism. I started writing here as an effort to think through my whiteness more carefully, and you've all motivated me to keep going.

It's also good to gather that this blog has a mix of both white and non-white readers. White people do talk about race with non-white people, sometimes, and I'm glad that they often do so here. Both sides are getting so many different things out of this blog that it's difficult for me to summarize it all.

Someone else, though, has done a great job of assessing probable white and non-white responses to Stuff White People Do, and I've received permission to include her assessment here as a guest post.

Davita Cuttita blogs at Pregnant Drug-dealing Prostitutes, and she identifies herself as "a Jamaican girl dating a Russian guy." I'm grateful that she took the time to write such a thorough assessment of Stuff White People do, and of its potential place in a broader and necessary discussion on whiteness and racism. I'm honored by her presence here as a guest writer, and of course, we invite responses to her assessment, and to her incitement.

(PS--Via Jannie Sue in the comments to Friday's post, an assessment of Stuff White People Do at White Anti-Racist. Thanks Jannie Sue!)

Hi Macon, ^_^

This is Davita Cuttita coming to you live from Canada!

I've been dipping in-and-out of the internet (busy schedule, work and school!) but I noticed your post "Avoid the topic of race, especially whiteness" so I hope you don't mind that I wrote in; I'm sure with your well-deserved increase in readers, you must be swamped!

Firstly, I think what attracts a lot of non-White people to your blog is quite simple: your honesty and willingness to discuss.

Of course, coloured people talk about many of the issues you do amongst themselves and the general idea is "Oh, White people. They don't care, they don't understand," because when we do talk about these issues with White people, they become uncomfortable, defensive or simply change the subject because, y'know, if coloured people have problems it's all about THEIR feelings, not ours. I guess we don’t have any feelings or lack the cognitive ability to recognize them since racism apparently “no longer exists, it’s 2008” or “maybe the person was just having a bad day.”

Therefore, White people miss out on a lot of insight about how other cultures see them. For example, there are so many movies "exoticizing" the cultures in Africa, China, Japan, Brazil, the Caribbean, etc but very few doing the same to, for argument's sake, America. ‘Cuz, White is White, no need to explain or discuss! They're the default, like Times New Roman font.

Coloured People keep coming to Stuff White People Do because now they know a few things:

1. There is a White person willing to engage in racial discussions with them, encouraging dialogue and taking them and their concerns seriously and asking honest questions.

2. There is a White person willing to listen to what they have to say without getting defensive.

3. There is a White person that doesn't "ignore" their non-Whiteness by being colourblind but accepts it as a valid part of their identity.

4. They now know of a place where they can engage with other White people on racial issues.

5. There is a zone for coloured people to discuss and read of racial inequalities, stereotypes, etc with a White person(s) that won't shift the coloured person's feelings and concerns onto themselves in turn making said coloured person feel guilty for bringing up what is often TRUE.

I know those are the reasons why I visit.

Your site's like sitting in a music studio with a bunch of strangers with different talents. You'll start a tune, another guy will beat-box, someone will chime in on the key-board, etc. It doesn't always "sound" great but hell, it's interesting and we're free to exchange ideas!

As for the White people that think you hate yourself now. . .

I find this type of back-lash always happens whenever a White person speaks up for Coloured People and accepts the facts of our reality and history. It hurts them to know they belong to a group that, historically, is responsible for an overwhelming majority of the wiping out of civilizations, displacing individuals, destruction and inequality that still produces benefits exclusive to the White race even today.

Worse still, to them your site is a slap in the face, a reminder that many of the settlers and founders they cherish and idealize didn't earn any of this land with hard work; no! They just killed, raped, pillaged and enslaved everyone and anything they could. Why are there so few historic coloured people contributions to technology, literature, medicine, the arts and science compared to Whites? Because they'd KILL US if we learned to read! (Also, a lot of technology was stolen and re-appropriated during the Crusades from Indian, Islamic and Black cultures. Did you know the Chinese “discovered” America 300 years before Columbus? Gotta love grade 11 history!)

Hell, we couldn't even chill in our own countries minding our own business without it being a problem.

I'm sure if the White man came singing "Why Can't We Be Friends?" and no one was busy getting killed, maimed or raped, we coloured people could've gotten a 500 year head start too and be waaay better off. White history says they are the best, the most intelligent, the most beautiful and we are beneath them--abnormal and awkward. What, with all their achievements and all! But it just doesn't sound as heart-warming, inspiring and pride-inducing when you read about all the Native babies Christopher Columbus and his men killed for fun or how many thousands of runaway slaves were cut in half.

They cannot face these facts; they don't want to say "Yes, it happened. Yes, I benefit. What can I do? What do you think? DO YOU WANT TO TALK?" No, they only repeat the obvious "I didn't do anything wrong! That was hundreds of years ago!" like broken records and simply don't give a damn. They go into denial and find any means necessary to cut off dialogue because once again, it’s not about acknowledging Coloured People’s feelings and apprehensions. Somehow, our concerns become all about THEIR feelings and THEIR comfort.

Everyone wants to be the victim—that way they don’t have to take responsibility for what happened to them and are free of blame and scrutiny but...

No one wants to be the person holding the blood-stained knife.

"This White guy hates himself."

Oh, please! This White guy doesn’t hate himself; he’s just fed up with ignorance like the rest of us. He has the courage to see something went terribly wrong 500 years ago and like a juggernaut, just won’t stop. He has the intelligence, openness and willingness to listen and admit what he cannot understand and share what he feels he does. He asks questions and unlike the others that just want us to forget and move on, stop talking and just act like everything is OK when we are still systematically discriminated against, objectified and hated.

We Coloured People will always move on but we will never, ever, forget the truth of the matter that slavery happened, genocides happened, bombings happened, rapes happened, intellectual theft happened and keeps happening, all because of our bodies’ melanin levels. The message behind this site and many of the opinions therein never said all White people are evil, but we’re pretty sure most of them are being ignorant about the truth and the truth hurts.

Some White People just can’t handle it, so they take their anger out on you by saying you hate yourself. Maybe they wouldn’t believe that if they consulted one of your Coloured readers for their opinion on your site.

See the pattern here?

I really hope you keep layin' the hurt down on 'um, Macon. They need it.

Congrats on your new readers and keep up the great work!

Kindest regards,

~Davita Cuttita


  1. I agree with EVERYTHING Davita just said!

    (Macon, you may soon need a larger server. The people are coming!)

  2. A question I have faced, which sounds strange, is: Is white people talking about race with non-white people, always a good or bad thing in itself?

    I never would have asked that question before some black people told me that they consider white people talking about racism with black people to be a racist act in itself. It is hard to put their thoughts in one sentence without sounding odd, but they have carefully thought it out and explain it in more depth.

    They say that white people can do much more about racism by talking to other white people -- only. That, they say, is the best use of time and effort in fighting racism.

    I from my soul don't agree with that, after thinking and praying about it. Yet, it's complicated and confusing to be a white person and to disagree with what is said by black persons when it comes to racism... because they have the innate rightness and authority of their experience and feelings.

    Other black people have told me the opposite, that they feel it is good for black and white people to talk together about racism.

    The people who feel that my talking to black people about racism in itself is racist are right for them, I think.

    They say it takes time away from white people talking to white people, who need to be talked with, who are the ones who need to change.

    They have a valid point.

    They do not (and perhaps should not) talk for all black peoples' opinions.

    When anyone black or white says with finality what is right for everyone, when it comes to discussing racism together or separtely, it seems to me to go against the truth that simply we are all different.

    I as a white woman (whatever that means to be a white woman and thank you for a blog to find out the answer to that question) no longer want to try to talk about race and racism with the black people who told me that it is best for white people to only talk to white people.

    I disrespected them by trying to convince them to talk with me.

    Since I disagree with that philosophy, though, from my soul, for what feels like justice for me, I continue to talk about racism to everyone, black and white, who does want to talk together.

    It was hard being called racist for wanting to talk about racism with black people, as well as with white people. Painful. I talked from my truth.

    Because it still hurts, and because I'd much rather have my focus be on the hurt of racism, not on my own hurt, I want to understand my own blind spots about this issue, because there is always more depth to see, if anyone has insights to share.

  3. Hi Karen, interesting thoughts, and I admire your efforts to work through the feelings provoked in you by being told to go and talk instead to white people. I'm sure a lot of black people feel that way, though not all, and as you said, you've found black people willing to talk about race with you.

    I won't try to speak for all black people who tell whites to talk to other whites, but I think that statement often stems from black frustration about a common white lack of self-awareness. Since whites are the empowered majority in America, the whiteness of the norm often passes so often as JUST the norm. So white people often think they're just normal, instead of white. They KNOW they're "white," but they falsely think it doesn't make much difference at all in their lives, and especially in how they see the world.

    But being white does shape and inform one's beliefs, attitudes, perspectives, and so on, and I think black people who talk with whites about race often get frustrated with a common white inability, almost, to see things from a different perspective, and to understand that white people have a racial perspective--that they're not as "objective" about these matters as they tend to think they are.

    You're right, we "simply all are different," but on the other hand, when it comes to race and having one's perspective shaped by it, white people are usually more like other white people than black people, and black people are usually more like other black people than white people. So in that sense, we're not simply all different--some of us are a lot like some others, and very different from some others.

    Speaking of hurt in a racial sense, have you ever thought about whether being classified as white hurts you?

    I think it's great that you're thinking about what it means for you to be white, and I hope that poking around on this blog helps.

  4. Thank you for the encouraging and kind reply, so much.

    And in answer to your last question, yes, I've been hurt in some situations due to being classified as white...

    But... this never happened until the last few years.

    Up until that point, I never, ever felt hurt in any way being 'white'.

    In fact, the opposite -- I felt being white gave me something to give to help heal racism by being part of white people as a category -- I truly was very much aware from childhood of the feeling of inferiority that our culture imposes, or tries to impose, on black people, and the ridiculous, false sense of superiority it seems to want to give to white people, unconsciously or consciously.

    I was never, ever, ever hurt by being white, until I had experiences of hurt in recent years -- though looking back with hindsight, I can see ways my life sucked that were partly due to some cultural circumstances which being white was a part of --

    -- but the personal hurts that I've experienced can never, ever be comparable to the hurt that white people, and systemicly the white supremacy system/racism, do to hurt non-white people in the world, so I wonder if talking about hurts I've experienced being white is selfish and irrelevant to anything or helpful to anyone, except to me to learn from and to get my heart's clarity back, the way one does after ANY hurt?... thanks, karen

  5. Hi Karen,

    I agree with Macon--your thoughts are very interesting.

    However, they kind of bring me back to what I wrote: because of history; Coloured People hurt TOGETHER and since Whites see themselves as "parts" of a collective rather than a collective within a collective; (if that makes sense?) when they hurt it feels more "personal" and this personal hurt from racism; something essentially far more than just a personal experience; occassionally translates itself in White-to-Black racial conversation. Thus, the reason why some Black people refuse to discuss race with Whites and get offended. I'll try to use a small example to demonstrate:

    White: "I'm hungry"
    Black: "I'm hungry BUT we're all hungry"

    Furthermore, it's not just the "how" of the hurt racism incurs that non-Whites focus on, "how it hurts me", "how it hurts us"; no. It is the hurt ITSELF and everything it encompasses.

    Looking at the above social schematics, you can see that one of these things is not like the other.

    It's like trying to speak a language like French or Spanish using English grammar--it just doesn't work, you'll offend a ton of people and no one will understand your true intentions. They're translations of the world are simply too different to meld together.

    I appreciate you writing here and having the courage to visit Macon's site. I also wish to offer you a free internet clap for attempting to speak to Black people about racism *clap clap clap*

    I'm sorry you've had bad racial experiences but I can't say much more than "welcome to the club".

  6. Davita, wow... I am really intersted in your post.

    Just got home (from a racism and spiritual support group!) so haven't completely absorbed your thoughts but after thinking/absorbing, hope to reply tomorrow.

    No one ever put that idea before in that way, to me, and it's eye-opening. I wonder if that concept that black people feel together, is somehow related in an ironic way to why I have envied the black community for a closeness I don't feel in the white community -

    -- but that is an initial right off the bat, probably ill-conceived thought.

    hope to listen more...

  7. I agree with Davita's assessment.

    Many People of Colour who have tried to have discussions about race with white people on the internet became frustrated, and then decided to withdraw because it seemed hopeless communicating with white people. Different white people who don't know each other keep coming up with the same arguments over and over again that you already debunked in previous conversations with different individuals. They also think that they are bringing up something new, saying, "But have you ever thought about this??!" as if they are being original instead being a typical white person.

    So we withdraw and focus on PoC sites like Racialicious, since it seems more productive to advance the discussions about race with new material, rather than get stuck in an infinite loop reestablishing the basics.

    However, you're past the basics at least, so it doesn't seem so unproductive to have a dialogue with you.

  8. Davita, and Restructure,

    Thank you... so are you saying that people of color see themselves as a collective within a collective, and...

    ... I think you mean by that, the collective they see themselves as, is the collective of all people of color?

    And the bigger collective that that collective is within, is the whole of humanity?

    And that people of color have the sense of a collective, whereas the contrast with white people is that white people usually see themselves as individual parts of a collective, but not a collective and not a collective within a collective? --

    -- in other words, white people don't see or need to see themselves as a collective, because... maybe because, since they feel they are the major, more important, most dominant people on the planet (even though they're a minority), so they have the privilege of feeling individual, they don't need to feel their collective unity?

    They feel a certainty they can succeed individually without feeling they are part of a collective, without acknowledging how being part of the white collective helps them?...

    Even though they are part of a collective, they want to feel individual?

    You said that this personal hurt from racism is something essentially far more than a personal experience.

    I can't reply to that in the depth of it. I'm blown away by your articulation and I'm trying, trying to deserve the sharing such depth.

    A sad statement, a million tears of history in your statement. It is not personal to each victim of racism.

    And that's where Restructure is right, the horror of a white person's replies, which is the obtuseness of mine is this case, because what you both helped me see what I did is translate my individual white personal hurt into a conversation with you.

    And I said, "I'm hurt" when your reply tries to translate but your language is "We're all hurt" (your example, "we're all hungry").

    What you said about the hurt of people of color, that it's not the how of the hurt, it's the hurt itself.

    That too goes beyond words, past poetry, into depth that white people, me, are stomping on hearts to try to even talk about. We feel clumsy, crude... Maybe that's why white people feel terrified to talk about such a depth that they have never experienced?... that is unspeakably sad all around.

    As you said, trying to speak French or Spanish using English grammar...

    White people don't have a colletive hurt of racism, not at all in any way.

    "Melding together our different translations of the world"... thank you for it...

  9. Hi again, Karen!

    I sincerely have nothing more to add because you've got it 100%. However, I wouldn't say that our sense of a collective extends as vastly as you said though (i.e. Blacks don't see themselves as parts of the Asian community and vice-versa). But we do definitely see ourselves and everyone else as human at the end of the day, without a doubt.

    But the part you wrote about:

    "they have the privilege of feeling individual, they don't need to feel their collective unity?"

    DINGDINGDINGDINGDING! Tell her what she's won, Alex!!

    I truly enjoyed reading your insights and following your thoughts as you openly joined in on this dialogue that so many shun. Thank you very much for the compliments on my writing; I do what I can. Take care.

    Best regards,
    Davita Cuttita

    (And to "just me" and "Restructure" thanks a lot for reading! Glad you agree)

  10. Hey Davita,

    I want to make sure I understand your first comment on this post. I have my own opinion on this, and I want to make sure that this is what you mean and that I'm not projecting my own thoughts on to your words.

    To me, when discussing racism with most white people, the white person often thinks that I am complaining to reap some kind of personal benefit, or that I'm trying to say "oh, woe is me; my life is worse than yours, Jane." Then "Jane" tries to comfort me and says, "well, he didn't really mean that; he was having a bad day. I don't want you to feel personal hurt, so I'll say some nice words to make it all better."

    However, I'm not talking about me! I'm talking about a larger pattern that affects everyone else who looks like me (Asian) or who is non-white (depending on the specific topic I want to bring up). I think about race and racism intellectually and about the larger pattern, but most white people think I'm thinking about it emotionally and how it affects me 'personally'.

    For example, if I'm annoyed that some person assumed that I was a foreigner, the typical white person might tell me to 'solve' this problem by telling this person that I was born and raised in Canada. But that's not my problem! It's not about me; it's about the big picture. It's a systemic problem, not a personal problem.

  11. Restructure and Davita,

    Is there totality of truth about race?... I ask, because I offended others by my post that you, Davita, liked...

    My friend Henry, who is black, was disappointed in me...

    I wrote about the "horror" of talking to white people, and I didn't qualify "some" white people-- he felt that statement in itself was a 'horror'... he feels I decimated humanity of us all.

    White people are human of course, but it's about conditioning...

    In my observation, there are common conditionings to white people, that justify my stereotyping with words like 'horror' in certain areas.

    Restructure, what you posted, white people who take a complaint about a systemic problem, and respond to it as a personal one -- I've done that.

    It is partly miscommunication both ways if you say, "I'm annoyed that that white person thought I was a foreigner", your "I" phrasing asks for a personal suggestion.

    If you phrase it as a systemic problem, are white persons any better at getting what you mean?

    I think white people have been retarded in their understanding of systemic racism/white supremacy, me included, and honestly don't get it a lot of times.

    Most white people can't name who Booker T. Washington is, or Harriet Tubman, or major landmark law cases in civil rights, etc.

    There is a lot of ignorance. The personalizing is a sign of lack of education to see the big picture, and lack of critical thinking skills.

    That over-personalization stems also from self-centeredness, and from not seeing the big picture the way the non-white person has learned of necessaity to do perhaps?

    And so many of us were taught by depression era parents or grandparents not to ever complain, and so, we see any statement of a problem as complaining rather than as a constructive, objective identification of a problem.

    Maybe white people as a whole have a problem with objectivity in problem-solving when it comes to race? It's easier to see a complaint than a statement of a problem, because that would mean facing one's part in the problem?

    And you mentioned that you're Asian...there are stereotypes about Asians among many white people.

    Many think of Asians as separate in certain ways, even where they are citizens.

    Even my therapist, of all people, made, the other day, a gross generalizing stereotype of Asians, specifically of Japanese people.

    He said that Japanese people feel superior to 'white' people.

    He didn't qualify and say "some" Japanese.

    He said that because the average IQ in Japan is 130, whereas the average IQ in America is 100 (he is into tests and measurements, so I assume his figures are correct)--

    -- and because Japanese diet is so much healthier, Japanese look down on Americans intellectually and also about diet and hygiene issues.

    He went on to say that Japanese men love blondes (another all-encompassing statement) and would date them as sexual objects but would not see them as equals.

    With attitudes like these, even positive stereotypes -- for example,he commented on the positive stereotype that many white parents have, who now want their daughters to marry Asian men because to many, they represent success and intellect and money --

    -- even positive stereotypes lead to thinking of Asian citizens as different or foreign in culture, even if they are as Big Mac-eating and western-literature-reading etc., as any other American or Canadian.

    I need to think this through deeper, Restructure. Thanks for listening, Karen

  12. Karen,

    I was thinking about what you said in an earlier comment about talking about race with non-white people. You said that some black people thought that white people talking about racism with black people was racist. Did you try to engage in a discussion about racism with some black people because they were black, and not because they were People of Colour involved in antiracist work and interested in dialogue with whites? If it was the former, then I too think that's racist.

    As for your latest response, the vast majority of the discussions about race and racism with white people I've had was on the internet, and it was generally frustrating. One time I talked about something very general, like that the average white thinks racism no longer exists, and the average non-white thinks racism still exists, but the average white will assume that this difference exists because non-whites are 'biased' and have a 'persecution complex'. However, in response to this very general topic, some people came into the thread and said that black people were lazy, need to stop playing the race card and blaming others for their personal failures, and need to take responsibility for their economic success, directed at me, assuming that I was black. I replied, saying that they proved my point that racism still exists. However, this type of thing happens regularly (people assuming that I am black because I talk about racism and they say something very racist about black people and personal failure).

    Another time I said something about how a fictional portrayal of a black 'savage' was racist, and the response I got was something along the lines of, "It's not racism, because it isn't job discrimination against someone based on the color of their skin or government-enforced racial discrimination. Does it affect you or anyone personally by hindering your social mobility? If not, then just ignore it."

    Maybe white people as a whole have a problem with objectivity in problem-solving when it comes to race? It's easier to see a complaint than a statement of a problem, because that would mean facing one's part in the problem?

    Yes. I definitely feel that this is the case.

  13. Restructure,

    Your experiences of the blinders plastered on many white peoples' eyes, so as to not see white racism, and the verbal idiocies that are employed to deny...'s baffling behavior I see all the time too, I guess we all do.

    One thing I've experienced in the opposite is, I have had people equate the desire to acknowledge racism, with racism.

    Which seems strange and is counter-intuitive.

    i.e. "You talk about racism, it makes me think you ARE racist".

    But I don't think the risk of being seen as racist is a reason so many white people refuse to see or acknowledge racism; fear of being misunderstood doesn't seem all that common among white people re racism.

    But, since everyone has conditionings of white supremacy in this culture, maybe many white people are afraid it will make them look deliberately racist to themselves and others if they acknowledge racism?

    And they feel helpless over deep conditionings in their minds from childhood, which maybe they don't want to face and really aren't deliberate?

    This need to deny racism, to wear white-rose-colored Pollyanna glasses and say racism isn't racism... one example --

    I have an older friend who grew up in a town in West Virginia, and the major employer didn't hire the black people who lived in the segregated black part of town.

    He still criticizes the black people that they had high unemployment.

    To see the effects of racism on victims as their own fault and not as traumatic effects of victimization is like seeing a bruise and saying it's just there, it wasn't the result of the fist that just hit the skin.

    That relates to that duality in the minds of many white people when they criticize generically, black people for not being successful, then they don't like it when many black people ARE successful.

    I observe, at least I think I do, that this is much less common in this younger generation. Fortunately, I think a lot of racism is less so in the younger generation --

    -- and much less conditioned into them. Or am I wearing rose colored glasses?

    Re your question, the people who told me that talking to black people about race is in itself racist, were African Americans dedicated to anti-racist work.

  14. Yes, another common white tendency is to say that talking about racism means that you're racist, because it shows that you are not 'color blind'.

  15. Whoa, whoa, whoa...

    Karen & Restructure!

    Firstly, Restructure:
    What I was basically trying to say with the first comment and with much of my post is that when we Coloured People do talk about our problems, two things occur:

    1. White people become offended/defensive about our concerns and only view them as meaniningless complaining

    2. When White people become defensive or just don't want to talk, they tend to brush off our concerns and deflect all the attention onto themselves in a kind of 'well, I'm having a hard time too, boo-hoo-hoo' which in turn offends coloured people because, hell; we are living, eating, sleeping and breathing by THEIR rules!

    Racism is more than systematic because if the government collapsed tomorrow; it'd still be around. Racism is a deep, historical and cultural thing that seeks only to judge, discriminate, hate, shame and segregate. It's not just personal it's all encompassing and ancient.

    Because as Black people we are so conditioned to remember the past and hold on to what we have left as a racial identity, our feet are buried deep within it and its continued consequences.


    I can kinda see where your friend might of got offended with the humanity part but I did clear that up in my previous response. Restructure's response to you was also quite impeccable so I don't have much to add.

    Just to reiterate; coloured people's perception of themselves as a 'collective within a collective' doesn't extend outside of their particular race. No, much rather they perceive themselves to be an amalgamation of both their ancestry and history AS WELL AS their culture, place of origin and current place in time....if, that makes any sense.

    I think I bit off more than I lil' e-mail to Mr. D could say, so I plan to write in depth on this on PDDP at some point this month.

    Thank you both for your interesting insights, comments and taking the time to read my article.

  16. Hello,
    Just found this blog yesterday and am intrigued. I am a white woman in mu early 40's who lives in a predominantly white rural town of about 4000 people. I have always tried my best to instill in my children non-racist views, but with only a couple of black kids at our school, I have found few opportunities to really broach the subject in a way that doesn't sound like an after school special. I know that there is racism in the world, in our community, and I would like them to be more prepared to deal with these things as they head out into the world, not to mention working on my own understanding. I have thought of trying to start a social group or study group of some kind to get a dialogue going, but I fear making a novelty out of the blacks in our town if I suggest such a thing. Are there any suggestions out there?
    Thanks, Lisa

  17. Lisa,

    If you start a study group. Treat all the kids the same.

    Don't start a dialog about race. That will then "other" the Afr. American children and make them feel awkward.

    If race is brought up by the kids, then that is your opportunity to begin.

    I would however, invite the other parents in to discuss it one day together because race is a very complex issue and can be taught incorrectly and from a racist frame of reference - even innocently.

    Be careful with children and espically other peoples kids when doing this. I suggest including the Afr. American parents in this.


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