tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post6689577537218786683..comments2024-03-06T08:29:13.333-08:00Comments on stuff white people do: subtly pass racism on to the next generationmacon dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07795547197817128339noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-46442555969011391562012-03-25T22:02:39.781-07:002012-03-25T22:02:39.781-07:00I think the most subtle, annoying and disguting wa...I think the most subtle, annoying and disguting way racism is passed on these days is through the negation of cultural difference ie everything which isn't Western. People, white people would say: "I'm not racist, I see no difference between you and me: we're equal." Having become the leading and dominant culture around the world, white people have become or rather are as eurocentric as their parents, ancestors used to be. Everything is fine as long as you do everything according to the white standards: it's the norm. The main issue with this reasoning is that people don't know how to react when they're faced with something foreign or isn't Western ie white enough. Try explaining a white person that certain things are conceived in a different way in another country, religion or on another continent. The usual reaction would be: "that's weird." Weird as if only one norm is supposed to exist. Being the dominant culture, white people are not raised or used to put themselves in other people shoes and see things from their perspectives. It isn't about accepting those different POVs as true but only acknowledging their existence and maybe their validity even though one doesn't agree with them. Yet, a white person, kid isn't able to do that. On the other side, take any non-western person and you'll see it's more easier and somewhat natural for that person to do that exercise. Why? Because not only non-white people are aware of their difference with white people are neither afraid, neither bothered by that, but being from dominated groups or cultures, they have used to see things from perspectives which aren't theirs. My point is that it isn't because a white person can stand the presence of a non-white person near him/her that he/she isn't racist. He/she will stop being a racist when he/she'll be able to acknowledge and accept that it's OK for the other to be different from him/her: no need to assimilate. Not being a racist is remembering that we all have red, not blue but red blood in our veins and that we're all humans, no matter how different we look, sound or smell. The day white people would stop acting like their culture is the only one which deserves to be followed on earth, they'll stop passing on racism in a subtle way to their children. Stop being eurocentric and you'll see a real major difference between you, your children and your ancestors.Rhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14624411899334689017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-39149175980114071782010-05-07T20:38:19.103-07:002010-05-07T20:38:19.103-07:00The comments about Mexicans and Mexican-Americans ...The comments about Mexicans and Mexican-Americans in this post are all too familiar to me... my grandmother always said things around the house like that when I lived with her, along with the rest of my family, when I was very young (around 3-4). <br />The shocker is that my family is Black and my grandmother used to teach ESL at a school in Southern California. And hate of Latinos is damn near ubiquitous here. It makes me sick.adamsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01567094890136612041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-76836988145438343992010-02-17T18:53:57.119-08:002010-02-17T18:53:57.119-08:00@ Wiwaxia
Allow me to clarify. The kids don'...@ Wiwaxia<br /><br />Allow me to clarify. The kids don't get smacked across the face, if that's what you're worried about. I've seen a lot smacked <i>hands</i> in my time and these kids don't repeat-offend. Once is more than enough for them. The white kids, on the other hand, are in the office day after day.<br /><br />Furthermore, it is <i>far</i> better than the other sitch, mainly because of how Robin broke it down:<br /><br /><i>...I think the major part of what you're discussing there is crucial: for the white parents, the context is about their child. For the parents of color, the context is about how their child's actions are affecting others. The white child's place at the center of the universe is being reinforced to the white child during those interactions; the children of color are being made to realize that they're not the center of everything, they're part of an inter-related group of people, and <b>it's not all about them</b>. When their parents are railing at them, they're being taught that you have to consider others, not just yourself. That's <b>huge</b>.</i><br /><br />She's right. Granted, CP is not the best method, but a smacked hand is <i>not</i> CP. That one is not the center the universe, and one must think before they act or speak because they might harm another <i>is</i> a huge lesson--the <i>most</i> important lesson, in fact--and a smacked hand simply helps a child to remember it. Like I said, these kids don't keep getting in trouble after experiences like that.<br /><br />In fact the only black repeat offenders are the ones whose parents <i>don't</i> do the smack-and-rail routine, but they are in a very tiny minority. There are exactly seven of these kids and I know them all by name. The principal knows <i>all</i> their families and consistently reminds each kid of the mistakes their parents made in their youths--every drug bust, jail sentence, and teen pregnancy. These kids are very young, so we have to constantly remind them how those parental mistakes have negatively impacted their lives today legally, financially, and within the very structure of their families. Again--no coddling, just cold, hard reality.Alliyah Gallowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043902720307040762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-59500972235783736682010-02-17T17:31:14.927-08:002010-02-17T17:31:14.927-08:00Sally's story demonstrates the influence spous...Sally's story demonstrates the influence spouses have on the white person's racist thought and behavior. I have seen someone go from "knows that telling racist jokes and using slurs is wrong" to "tells said jokes and uses slurs" because the spouse is openly racist.NancyPnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-76845969418293898772010-02-16T20:00:08.416-08:002010-02-16T20:00:08.416-08:00@Moi, who said I have wrestled with CPS on this is...@Moi, who said <i>I have wrestled with CPS on this issue on numerous occasions and I always get the same horrific answer: the state will not intervene until after the child severely harms someone.</i>: I'm not even kidding you, I've been digesting your response for almost 24 hours, waiting for an intelligent and coherent reply to appear in my mind... and 24 hours later, all I have is, "What. The. F**king. F**k?"<br /><br /><i>It is universally known that children are, by design, inconvenient.</i><br /><br />I'm beginning to wonder if some people _are_ as aware of that now as they used to be. Many of us grow up in single-child households or two-child households where we're relatively close in age - we don't have as much exposure to small children. (Personally, I'd only changed a diaper three times in my life before having my own baby.) And I think the ubiquitous news stories of celebrities adopting/having babies left and right and making babies look like the ultimate easy accessory (yeah, it's easy when you've got several nannies)... and all the Supernanny shows where it leaves you with this perception of, "Yes, you too can let your child run wild for years and then with a single week of hard work, they'll become a lovely child!"... I wonder just how much they really do understand that parenting is a frustrating, soul-sucking, nearly thankless endeavor the vast, vast, vast majority of the time. (Also: parents who only talk about the nice parts of parenting and never discuss the frequent tedious reality? Not Helping.)<br /><br />I'm now going to return to thinking about CPS's massive fail, because I still can't wrap my head around it.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08775402675080387821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-24140651451516470342010-02-16T19:27:15.765-08:002010-02-16T19:27:15.765-08:00"The kids with black mothers, on other the ha..."The kids with black mothers, on other the hand, practically wet themselves if their parents get called. That's because their mothers stroll right past us before we can even say hello and often smack their kids right then and there in the middle of the office. They always tell their kids--without any help from us--why what they did was wrong, how it makes the family look, and how they disrupted their parents' work and potentially the household income."<br />I'm not sure this is any better...Wiwaxianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-81969524802331791812010-02-16T12:14:31.922-08:002010-02-16T12:14:31.922-08:00@Moi: Wow... I wish I could say I was surprised, b...@Moi: Wow... I wish I could say I was surprised, but I grew up in the US, so...yeah.<br />@Robin & Moi: I used to work at a school, and I could not believe how many upper-middle-class white parents let their children walk all over them! My parents would never have stood for that. <br />@bloglogger: There are many well-intentioned people who feel uncomfortable talking about race, especially if their well-meaning parents or teachers had told them the best way to be "not racist" was to ignore race altogether. Luckily for me, my parents (white and Native American, respectively), were quite blunt on the issue, and we lived in a decently mixed neighborhood. But when I moved to a predominantly white, wealthy and liberal region, I ended up hearing the "we don't talk about race" message a lot from people who meant only the best.Seadhlinnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18163015321562819788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-40611676655326347682010-02-16T09:04:12.240-08:002010-02-16T09:04:12.240-08:00@Moi re: 'One of my coworkers had a teacher wh...@Moi re: 'One of my coworkers had a teacher who, when she (the coworker) wrote a paper in middle school about how the enslaved were kidnapped and forced into labor, crossed out that explanation and wrote in angry red ink, "No - they were slaves because they wanted to be."'<br /><br />I still can't swallow after reading this. But it doesn't surprise me when I get students (in college) who think that talking about racial issues is racist. I think this begins in white f milies when small children (quite naturally) notice and ask about people who look different from them, and the (usually) mother shushes the child and says, "Don't ever say that again." Noticing skin color is equated with racism both in the child's and the mother's mind. That seems to be a very durable lesson.blogloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01465639610604161309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-57540698728981940362010-02-15T15:45:12.936-08:002010-02-15T15:45:12.936-08:00Robin stated, "I just don't get it, and I...Robin stated, "I just don't get it, and I've spent a lot of time pondering it. It's not that difficult to be consistent and have limits!...Sure, it sucks sometimes; sometimes ...it's horribly embarrassing...and it's horribly inconvenient. But you have to do it anyway! Welcome to parenthood! If you want to be weak, get a Chihuahua rather than a child."<br /><br /><i>Thank you.</i><br /><br />It is universally known that children are, by design, inconvenient. Last I checked, that's something a person's supposed to accept <i>before</i> they decide to breed.<br /><br />What bugs me the most is that I've <i>met</i> the future wife-beaters, serial killers, rapists, molesters, and psycho boyfriends in my office--and they all just happen to know their racial slurs by heart, mind you. <br /><br />And when confronted with evidence, all the parents have to say for themselves is, "Well, (s)he can't help it, and that's not <i>my</i> fault." When asked about racial issues, it's always, "I don't know where he got that. We're not racist people; we've got a niece/cousin/foster-son that's mixed"--see how we end up going around in circles?Alliyah Gallowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043902720307040762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-65610475177829483242010-02-15T14:06:59.343-08:002010-02-15T14:06:59.343-08:00@ Molly
One of my coworkers had a teacher who, wh...@ Molly<br /><br />One of my coworkers had a teacher who, when she (the coworker) wrote a paper in middle school about how the enslaved were kidnapped and forced into labor, crossed out that explanation and wrote in angry red ink, "No - they were slaves because they <i>wanted</i> to be."<br /><br />@ Robin<br /><br />I have wrestled with CPS on this issue on numerous occasions and I always get the same horrific answer: the state will not intervene until after the child severely harms someone. So whenever I clearly ask, "Are you telling me the state is <i>waiting for someone else to get hurt</i> before it will force parents to comply or even remove the child from their care?" CPS workers always reply, as if rehearsed, "I understand how messed up that sounds, but <i>yes</i>."<br /><br />The red tape is infuriating as hell. Meanwhile, the state puts the burden on us to "talk some sense" into these parents. You know, 'cause that always works so well.<br /><br />Keep in mind, school shooters usually kill themselves after they've killed everyone else. So if <i>this</i> kid grows up to do this, then yes, he will have finally harmed someone else, and the state will be able to intervene and do...what exactly?Alliyah Gallowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043902720307040762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-90807720569400103002010-02-15T12:01:17.533-08:002010-02-15T12:01:17.533-08:00@Moi: While I can't support corporal punishmen...@Moi: While I can't support corporal punishment as being a good method of discipline (policy statements from the major organizations such as the American Academy of Pediatrics make it clear that the research says CP is effective in the short-term, but other non-violent disciplinary methods are as effective short-term and <i>more</i> effective long-term, and there's been a lot of research now linking the use of CP to greater levels of behavioral problems and violence later on), I think the major part of what you're discussing there is crucial: for the white parents, the context is about their child. For the parents of color, the context is about how their child's actions are affecting others. The white child's place at the center of the universe is being reinforced to the white child during those interactions; the children of color are being made to realize that they're not the center of everything, they're part of an inter-related group of people, and <i>it's not all about them</i>. When their parents are railing at them, they're being taught that you have to consider others, not just yourself. That's <i>huge</i>.<br /><br />As a white parent in a predominantly white area, I'm often around a lot of other white parents. And certainly not everyone is a Special Snowflake Parent; I see plenty of white parents who have consequences for their children that are consistently enforced. But I also see plenty of SSPs. My husband and I will be at the park watching open-mouthed as an SSP pleads with her child that "it's time to go, honey!" over and over as the child blithely ignores them and continues to play. I asked one such parent last summer, after watching this charade for several minutes, "At what point do you pick your child up and leave?" She got icy and said, "We don't violate his bodily autonomy." After staring at her and recovering from the stupid, I said, "Uh, your child's what, 3? 4? If he had a knife, would you physically take it out of his hand or would you just beg him to set it down?" She ignored me. (I suppressed the urge to add, "You are a sh**ty parent," because I knew my husband would have been mortified. But man, I REALLY wanted to.)<br /><br />I just don't get it, and I've spent a lot of time pondering it. <i>It's not that difficult to be consistent and have limits!</i> Heck, we *still* pick up our almost-six-year-old and leave if he's having an meltdown (autism-related) or not listening to us or still acting up after receiving his single warning (non-autism-related). Sure, it sucks sometimes; sometimes he'll be kicking and yelling and making a scene and it's horribly embarrassing. And sometimes we've just gotten to the park, or we're in the middle of dinner at a restaurant or shopping, and it's horribly inconvenient. But you have to do it anyway! Welcome to parenthood! If you want to be weak, get a Chihuahua rather than a child.<br /><br />Re: the sociopathy: can those parents be reported to Child Protective Services? I'm very wary of the CPS system, but there's times when it serves a valid function. When my younger child was genuinely at risk due to my elder child (the autistic one) having constant aggressive meltdowns due to being overstimulated at school, help was offered to us via CPS; I didn't end up accepting it, but I'm under the impression that they can do counseling, and force parents to get medical and/or psychological assessments for their children, make the parents take parenting classes, etc. Would reporting those parents be a possible option? Their other children (and the children at school) don't deserve to be in danger due to the parents' lack of adequate parenting.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08775402675080387821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-27677997663204792252010-02-15T11:59:59.364-08:002010-02-15T11:59:59.364-08:00@Mel: The point of the post is *exactly* pointing ...@Mel: The point of the post is *exactly* pointing out that this occurs - because many white parents (Capt Howdy might argue here, so I'll say: yes, just like parents of all races, but this blog is focused on stuff white people do) parent unthinkingly. The point of saying, "Hey, a lot of white parents do ABCD and E," is to have some of the white parents reading it read it and think, "Oh crap, I do B and C," or "I know I've done D, and I never even thought about it." And once they know they're doing it, they can start trying to be conscious of it and stopping it before it happens again. (Another point is to have those white people that don't yet have children but expect to have them at some point, be consciously thinking about this stuff so they're more prepared.)<br /><br />No, not every post is going to apply to everyone. :) But I believe there's still plenty of value in the "whites do XYZ!" posts. From a personal perspective, when I recognize myself in one (or more) of those letters, it's immensely helpful in making me think about my actions and work on changing them. <br /><br />@Molly, who said <i>my first grade teacher who, if you can believe it, defined slavery as, "When the black people came to help the white people."</i>: I actually had to reread that three times. Boy oh boy. If that's how she's going to be discussing slavery, she just shouldn't be discussing it at all.<br /><br />@Capt who said <i>Remember, her argument requires that most white parents parent badly the way she describes.</i>: No, it doesn't. She said *another way*, not *the way*. Raising one's children to be free of repercussions and not have to obey the rules is a way of teaching entitlement and white privilege, and for those parents that do it, it contributes to the problem. But nowhere did she say that it's the only way, or even the primary way.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08775402675080387821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-30629454397266843052010-02-15T09:46:30.071-08:002010-02-15T09:46:30.071-08:00@ Capt. Howdy
I have to back up Victoria on this ...@ Capt. Howdy<br /><br />I have to back up Victoria on this one. I too work in the school system and the teachers--who are mostly white by the way--are tearing their hair out with the Special Snowflake Parent types because these parents absolutely refuse to believe anything is wrong with their kids. It's always the "teacher's fault." Call it cliche, stereotype, or comedian fodder, but when you witness this day in day out year after year, you can't just ignore it.<br /><br />The white kids don't care when their parents are called. I've had only one get upset and cry because he knew he wouldn't get to play on his X-Box that evening when he got home. When their parents show up, they laugh in their parents' faces if their parents attempt a lecture, or roll their eyes, or insist that their teachers just hate them and whatever they did wasn't their fault. Then the teary parents turn to us and start telling all the reasons why we should excuse their kids and how they're having a hard time at for reasons which then turn the situation to be all about the parents and their Lifetime-movie drama.<br /><br />The kids with black mothers, on other the hand, practically wet themselves if their parents get called. That's because their mothers stroll right past us before we can even say hello and often smack their kids right then and there in the middle of the office. They always tell their kids--without any help from us--why what they did was wrong, <i>how it makes the family look</i>, and how they disrupted their parents' work and potentially the household income. In all the time I've worked in schools I've had exactly one white grandmother talk frankly to the kid about disrupting household income, exactly one white mother talk about misrepresenting the family, and exactly one other white mother go off on her kids and point out their behavioral patterns to them. The rest either blame the teacher or simply make up something to defend their kids.<br /><br />The worst are the parents of sociopaths. Talk about denial which hurts other people. These are the white kids who've been killing animals, setting fires, choking and trying to stab siblings, beating on their parents, threatening to kill classmates and teachers, constantly attacking said classmates and teachers, <i>actually bringing knives to school</i> and yet their parents--moms especially--just "don't want to deal with it." One mom here actually handles her son by simply burying him in video games to shut him up when he's not in school, and then locking his bedroom at night to keep the rest of the family "safe".<br /><br />Never mind her son is getting big and strong enough to do more and more of what he threatens to do on a daily basis. Forget the safety of all the other kids, not to mention her own kin. She doesn't want to hear the word "sociopath" and when presented with info on school violence, she has no comment.<br /><br />I'll Tim Wise finish this off. I found the stats he listed particularly effective.<br /><br />http://academic.udayton.edu/race/01race/white08.htmAlliyah Gallowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043902720307040762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-12315348484370028912010-02-15T08:27:14.194-08:002010-02-15T08:27:14.194-08:00I hate posts like this, because the only thing the...I hate posts like this, because the only thing the author is accomplishing is pointing out that this occurs. What am I, an African person, doing with this information? I know everyone says snide and dirty remarks about everyone when they are not within hearing range of a certain person. I am not saying that because of this we should all just give up on the whole issue. The point is, it is one thing to make these snide remarks and another to act on them. <br /><br />My mother is West African and she has been referring to Asian people as "Oriental" to the point that my little sister yells out in school, "Oh, so he married an oriental?" Everyone was shocked to hear her say that and I had to educate her on how she should replace that word with "wog", "squaw", "injun", "nigger", "hymie", "jap", or any other derogatory term to see how hurtful it is to say something like that. <br /><br />My parents did pass on some racist behaviors to me. I have learned that white people are ignorant of everything, they say awful racist things about other people, they believe everything should be given to them and when someone else has something that they have it becomes an issue, and they are horrible people. However, there are days when I see white people acting like this and it bothers me but there are always exceptions to these racist things I have learned.Mel Shermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00071046132325045088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-18033187096384307542010-02-15T08:13:03.507-08:002010-02-15T08:13:03.507-08:00So true!
I've been the "diverse friend&qu...So true!<br />I've been the "diverse friend" for a good number of people who had been raised in such an environment-- by supposedly "liberal" parents. These people mean well and are not trying to be racist, but I end up having conversations where they want me to expose their children to "authentic" Native American or Celtic culture, and it gets old really fast.Seadhlinnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18163015321562819788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-16760631899095429922010-02-15T07:40:07.153-08:002010-02-15T07:40:07.153-08:00one I'd add for swpd in this area:
-move out o...one I'd add for swpd in this area:<br />-move out of diverse neighborhoods when their children reach school age<br /><br />As far as resources/other models, there was a post a while back about a group of white parents consciously raising their children to resist white supremacy: http://loveisntenough.com/2009/08/05/white-noise-white-adults-raising-white-children-to-resist-white-supremacy/Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02945385659698659077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-68696214969682386232010-02-15T05:41:06.114-08:002010-02-15T05:41:06.114-08:00Capt. Howdy,
I'm very obviously stating my op...Capt. Howdy,<br /><br />I'm very obviously stating my opinion, an opinion 2 other members have agreed with. You don't have to agree and I don't have to show proof of anything. I've been a parent for 12 years now, I'm presently a student-teacher. I'm not pulling my opinion out of thin air. You don't like it, move along then. I never said white parents are the worst parents.<br /><br />I really don't feel like conversing with you since you misread everything, use the Arab Trader argument, and look for me to make "fact" when you didn't ask anyone else to back up their *opinions*. DON'T BELIEVE ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. Just don't respond to me if you're going to be an a-typical white guy on a site made to breakdown common white tendencies, trying to get everyone to admit that everyone's just the same.<br /><br />What next?<br />Racism is dead?Victoriahttp://vintagelux.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-17667495065340693142010-02-14T23:33:35.944-08:002010-02-14T23:33:35.944-08:00@Capt Howdy,
No isht there are bad parents of all ...@Capt Howdy,<br />No isht there are bad parents of all races. But I'm afraid white parents are among them, and only they have white privilege. Their special snowflakes? Are the specialest.<br /><br />This is <a href="http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Stuff White People Do</a>.karinovahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14324280726621881771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-60471868965170311652010-02-14T21:46:15.155-08:002010-02-14T21:46:15.155-08:00@macon
I'll make it simple for you, since you...@macon<br /><br />I'll make it simple for you, since you seem to have missed the point.<br /><br />All I'm asking for is proof that most white parents parent the way she claims they do. Let's see her proof that most white parents are bad parents. Remember, her argument requires that <i>most</i> white parents parent badly the way she describes.<br /><br /> If she can't prove that most white parents parent the way she asserts, then she should back off on the negative stereotyping. Her comment has an ugly anti-white feel to it that no blog opposed to racism should endorse.Capt Howdynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-18760456620440082432010-02-14T21:26:52.921-08:002010-02-14T21:26:52.921-08:00I'm so lucky to have parents who are conscious...I'm so lucky to have parents who are conscious of their white privilege and have done various things throughout my childhood to combat racism, both in our family and outside of it. I remember that they were always very frank with me. There was no whispering of race or acting overly protective of me when a non-white person entered the room. I'm sure there must have been instances in which they failed on that front, but none which I can remember now. <br /><br />When I started going to school--and I attended predominantly black public schools from first grade on--I developed a few racist beliefs. I'm not sure where I got them from--it may have been the other children, or certainly my first grade teacher who, if you can believe it, defined slavery as, "When the black people came to help the white people." When I said something about disliking black teachers to my mother, she sat me down and gave me a big talking to--not in a scolding, mysterious way, but in a frank way which identified just what was wrong with what I said.<br /><br />I remember in elementary school, suddenly disliking a little white boy who told a racist joke about black people to his little white friends. To this day, when I run into him, I still feel uncomfortable because I wonder if he still thinks that way. <br /><br />I don't want to paint this picture of my parents as perfect in terms of teaching me about racism, but they were pretty damn good about it. At the very least, they taught me, both explicitly and through example, how to see race (as apposed to that colorblind nonsense) and how to question my own whiteness, and other people's as well. I learned at least to feel uncomfortable when the people around me were being racist--and while that's only party of the journey, it certainly made learning how to articulate racism a lot easier for me when I grew older.Mollynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-18517290310932704882010-02-14T21:24:56.279-08:002010-02-14T21:24:56.279-08:00Step back, Capt. Then look up "Arab trader ar...Step back, Capt. Then look up "Arab trader argument." this is a post about stuff white parents do, within the context of a de facto white supremacist social order (which means that even if other parents do those same things, they're actually not doing those same things -- which is another reason what other parents do is irrelevant here).macon dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07795547197817128339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-90533874155179080862010-02-14T21:13:13.280-08:002010-02-14T21:13:13.280-08:00@Victoria
They coddle their chiildren, don't ...@Victoria<br /><br /><i>They coddle their chiildren, don't let them feel the social consequences of their actions, disagree with anyone who thinks their child has done something wrong...</i> etc.<br /><br />I hope you're prepared to back down on this odd comment or prepared to show some stats on how "white people coddle their kids etc." (good luck on that) because otherwise this smells like an obnoxious negative stereotype.<br /><br />Shouldn't have to say this, but I guess I do: there are parents of all races who coddle their kids too much. There are parents of all races who don't let their kids feel the social consequences of their actions. There are parents of all races who defend their kids actions when their kids have done something wrong. There are parents of all races who try to get their kids out of school assignments. There are parents of all races who ask for special treatment for their kids. There are children of all races who learn how to manipulate a system thanks to what their parents have taught them.<br /><br />In other words, there are bad parents of all races. <br /><br />I'd like to see you go beyond mere assertion and show somehow that many more white parents are worse parents than parents of all other races. Because for your argument to hold much water you have to be saying that most white parents (as in hundreds of millions of them) must be parenting the way you describe. And without any proof to back up a claim like that, a simple gut check tells me that's nonsense.Capt Howdynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-25472890290863537812010-02-14T20:18:15.754-08:002010-02-14T20:18:15.754-08:00@Zek, as someone whose peoples were also victimize...@Zek, as someone whose peoples were also victimized by Nazis, I see it this way. The people who use "soft" prejudice create a context in which "hard" prejudice can exist. It's like saying, don't get mad about oak seeds - get made about oak trees.Keznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-10358283335564620612010-02-14T17:31:31.930-08:002010-02-14T17:31:31.930-08:00@ Amanda
That's a horror story. Reprimanding...@ Amanda<br /><br />That's a horror story. Reprimanding relatives for calling out their racist relatives is so counterproductive...I don't even know how to finish that.<br /><br />The problem, as people have mentioned countless times here and elsewhere before, is that most whites are focusing so hard on how to make themselves <i>appear</i> incapable of being racist, rather than focus on what about them <i>might</i> be racist and then fix it.Alliyah Gallowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043902720307040762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-17047838094200272322010-02-14T17:23:21.173-08:002010-02-14T17:23:21.173-08:00@ Robin
Special Snowflake Parenting - LOVE that t...@ Robin<br /><br />Special Snowflake Parenting - LOVE that term. Will use it from here on out.<br /><br />@ Victoria<br /><br />A-friggin'-MEN. And one of the HUGE unforeseen-though-obviously-<i>should</i>-be-foreseen side effects of such parenting is the inevitable disappointment these kids face when they grow up, and their difficulty adapting to reality. They can't handle constructive criticism from a teacher or an employer. They don't understand why so many peers don't want to be around them. They don't understand why the person they're crushing on either doesn't want to go out with them or is dumping them just after a couple of weeks.<br /><br />It's like the "He's Just Not that into You" basic theory revised and expanded--these moms fill their kids' heads with utter bullshit, giving them a cushy childhood while condemning them to a difficult adolescence and adulthood.Alliyah Gallowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043902720307040762noreply@blogger.com