tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post4964219087196268981..comments2024-03-06T08:29:13.333-08:00Comments on stuff white people do: date asian men less frequently than asian womenmacon dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07795547197817128339noreply@blogger.comBlogger83125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-70021700982624495582013-07-07T19:42:25.122-07:002013-07-07T19:42:25.122-07:00White media criticizes Asian parents for being too...White media criticizes Asian parents for being too conservative and being too academically demanding when raising their daughters. But when they grow up, the white men wanna marry them! So do you or do you not approve of the way asian parents bring up daughters? Make up your mind and let us know. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-79622386538221510062012-03-26T21:24:18.735-07:002012-03-26T21:24:18.735-07:00do you mean you are married to an East Indian man ...do you mean you are married to an East Indian man ? where do you live becuase I rarely come across white women Indian men or the opposite ? All I see are white and asian couples, and now more asian male white females ?<br />curious, bec. I'm E Indian too !Ronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12219222952350290174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-20980322135219044282011-10-21T08:30:00.539-07:002011-10-21T08:30:00.539-07:00Hey Li,
It's never too late to learn more abo...Hey Li,<br /><br />It's never too late to learn more about it. Maybe some intros to racism in the US for some background and connections could be helpful. They can both be found online.<br /><br />1- What is White Supremacy? -Elizabeth Martinez<br /><br />2- Heteropatriarchy and The Three Pillars of White Supremacy - Andrea Smith<br /><br />I think it's true that there isn't so much stuff about API experiences in the US seemingly, but if we don't connect it to the different types of racism, it won't help very much.Drowned Lotuseshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06537623198024160480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-66527144528508311682011-10-19T18:43:42.529-07:002011-10-19T18:43:42.529-07:00Hey all,
I know this is an old post, but I recent...Hey all,<br /><br />I know this is an old post, but I recently stumbled upon this blog after deciding to do some soul-searching on the internet. I'm an Asian American male, and as an undergrad, I recently read Henry David Hwang's "FOB" - a critically acclaimed play about Asians in America and how they are perceived.<br /><br />During the discussion that we had in class, I slowly began to realize that I really resembled one of the characters in the play, a guy named Dale. Despite the fact that I am a first generation immigrant, and Dale was born in the USA, we both shared similar traits - we come from middle class families, have parents who want us to retain Chinese culture, and we both want to become more "American," or Westernized.<br /><br />But, like Dale, I also began to realize that I lived a somewhat sad existence. I came to the US when I was 6, so I more or less grew up in the States. My grandparents were very westernized and educated abroad in Europe and America, so my parents wanted me to follow their footsteps, and I ended up in a 95% white parochial elementary school, then a 99% white jesuit high school. <br /><br />I never realized this was a problem until I found out that I was more comfortable when I was in a room full of White people than I was in a room full of Asians. Even then, that wasn't a problem until I realized that they were very conscious that I was not one of them. <br /><br />Regardless, as I got older, I realized that growing up around my caucasian peers also influenced my preferences for women. For a long time, I didn't know why, but I found white girls a lot more attractive than asian girls. To be honest, I'm still not entirely sure why this is the case, but, I suspect that my childhood has something to do with it.<br /><br />I now attend a diverse university with tons of people, but I've found myself isolated and alone. I don't know my own culture well enough to mingle with other asians, and I feel that women from the ethnic group I've grown up with reject me simply because I'm not one of them. I feel that there is significant pressure for me to "stay within my borders," especially after one of my white female friends tried to hook me up with her chinese friend. I eventually took her out on a few dates, but never went further than that, and honestly, I'm ashamed to say it, but I only did so because I did not want to reveal to the rest of the world that I simply wasn't that attracted to her.<br /><br />I've yet to find a solution to my predicament, and sometimes, I wonder if there will be a way out for me. I grew up believing that I was lucky to never really feel the effects of racism, but I feel that it's pervasive grasp invades every aspect of our society in subtle ways that we will never fully comprehend.Jackdawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02348482967388576149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-89942767696703815412011-04-06T19:25:14.434-07:002011-04-06T19:25:14.434-07:00@Tim
I don't know where you get the idea black...@Tim<br />I don't know where you get the idea blacks earned their civil rights from violent protests (although maybe like the Black Panthers?), many supported non violent protests led by MLK...promoting violence just leads to more violence. What needs to happen is that the pop culture from Hollywood needs to be more responsible with the changing demographics. They need to start allowing Asians (particularly the males) to be portrayed fairly and also to tell their own stories instead of casting non Asian actors such as Dragonball Evo, 21, The Last Airbender, King of Fighters, etc. <br /><br />I do not feel anything will change unless if the majority of Americans (who are white) start supporting Asian stars or if the demographic for Asians grow larger, that's the only way. Protests alone are not enough considering Asians only make up 4% and violent protests (even though that would bring media attention) would have a huge detrimental impact about the perceptions of Asians being "those violent people" (i.e. WWII with Japan, Korean War, Vietnam War, and Virgina Tech shooter Seung-Hui Cho).ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11983894947886460395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-62506751166869055892011-01-21T16:05:29.900-08:002011-01-21T16:05:29.900-08:00It is my firm belief, as an Asian male born in the...It is my firm belief, as an Asian male born in the US, that YES, it is not common for white females to be attracted to Asian males. I actually noticed when I went on vacation to Hong Kong, that all of the sudden it was extremely easy for me to go to a club and meet several women. However, if I tried to do this sort of thing in any given club that I used to go to in the US I would have a much more difficult time getting phone numbers.<br /><br />As for racism. It has always been my firm belief that the only way for Asians to be repected on an equal footing with white people is through consistent violent protests in the same way that blacks earned their civil rights. However, too many people don't share my same point of view.Timhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06104206467896067288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-6542313083090295472010-08-11T01:56:15.974-07:002010-08-11T01:56:15.974-07:00Hey all, this is a good discussion. Please check ...Hey all, this is a good discussion. Please check out our website ASIAN MALE REVOLUTIONS.<br /><br />It details the methods by which Asian American Males are de-valued in North American society. I promise you that it will be eye-opening.<br /><br />If you like what you see/read, please show your solidarity and support for Asian American men by adding us to your Facebook:<br /><br />http://www.facebook.com/asianmalerevolutions<br /><br /><br />... keep in mind that you don't even have to be attracted to Asian men to be our friend. If you're a believer in TRUE INCLUSION and DIVERSITY - then you would add us, wouldn't you? Not the racist garbage that apologist White Liberals (read: Closet Racists) would shove down your throat, like this:<br /><br />http://asianmalerevolutions.com/remember/ii-the-appropriation-of-multiculturalism/<br /><br /><br />Thanks for reading, God Bless.<br /><br />J.<br />Editor<br />Asian Male Revolutionsamrevolutionshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07649501193315085785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-54569469293538696602010-04-01T19:40:55.076-07:002010-04-01T19:40:55.076-07:00Interesting topic. I find that you see a lot of wh...Interesting topic. I find that you see a lot of white guys with asian girls but not really the other way around.<br /><br />Although I believe in the saying that its personality not looks that matter I usually find that I'm attracted more often than not to Asian guys and I'm a white girl.<br /><br />I find that Asian guys usually respect me more than white guys do. I mean they are more gentleman like, perhaps because the feminist thing isn't all crazy in their world.w gnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-10967814306716519172010-03-29T09:43:09.990-07:002010-03-29T09:43:09.990-07:00I think a lot of asian guys are hot but the ones I...I think a lot of asian guys are hot but the ones I would see on campus would always only be hanging out with other asians. However I do notice plenty of the ones who were born in the USA would date white girls. For me I asked a Japanese male friend of mine what kind of guys and girls are considered hot or most desired in Japan and he said that feminine looking pretty boys are the most desired and for the girls they prefer them to be more cute and innocent looking as opposed to a bombshell like celebrities in the USA. He said an assertive curvy woman like me would not be desired there, or they might find me pretty but I might seem threatening to them and intimidating. This fascinates me due to the fact that I have no race preference when it comes to guys I date, I exclusivly only date guys wiht feminine characteristics, like guys who are pretty more then masculine looking. I dont mind if they are smaller then me and Im a large girl. So in a way you could say my attraction is based on maybe more masculine vs. feminine characteristics but thats a whole different topic and to say that all asian guys are feminine is just not true, the fact is though that some of them do have no body hair and softer delicate features then lots of white guys and those are all things I am sexually attracted to, but again I cant really say that is always the case because everyone is an individual. Hard to explain.FrenchieFrannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-68939160158369968122010-03-12T06:14:49.438-08:002010-03-12T06:14:49.438-08:00happy shirt,
I appreciate that the video highligh...happy shirt,<br /><br />I appreciate that the video highlights a problem few white people acknowledge as a problem, but I do agree about its ultimate failure. I think it does end up dumping the responsibility for fighting the problem in the laps of Asian men, as if it's saying to them, "All you gotta do to impress Asian women is be more aggressive!" Thank you for the reminder; if I mention the video again, I'll be sure to point that out.macon dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07795547197817128339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-1535791285189664582010-03-12T06:11:50.235-08:002010-03-12T06:11:50.235-08:00I don't understand why everyone keeps thinking...I don't understand why everyone keeps thinking that damn "Yellow Fever" video is an anti-racism parody. It ultimately denies the existence of racism against Asian men, dismisses our pain and suffering, and places the blame on the victim.<br /><br />And I've seriously had it with all the apologetic comments.happy shirtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-46976319287428763172010-01-11T23:34:52.817-08:002010-01-11T23:34:52.817-08:00I am a tall white woman. Almost every time someone...I am a tall white woman. Almost every time someone, who doesn't know my husband, learns that he's Chinese, the next thing out of hir mouth is, "How tall is he?" or some variation of that. It's irritating after a while. I think everyone does it but, now that I think about it, it may be slightly more common from White men and Asian women. <br /><br />Although, I have noted that where we live the numbers for WM/AF and AM/WF pairs seem to have evened out a lot, compared to when we started dating 12 years ago. In fact, I think we happen to personally know more AM/WF pairs.Karen Lnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-29804706008371493192010-01-11T20:57:36.719-08:002010-01-11T20:57:36.719-08:00@ RVCBard
Get out of my head but I think we need...@ RVCBard <br /><br />Get out of my head but I think we need a bottle of Jack from reading BTK's comment.Lady Dani Mohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00159035061078141833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-59907872640769826802010-01-11T20:38:58.236-08:002010-01-11T20:38:58.236-08:00BTK, did you even read the post? The problem is no...BTK, did you even read the post? The problem is not Asian guys lacking confidence; it's a lot of women not being as attracted to Asian guys because of a solidly established and widely perpetuated set of stereotypes about them. Your telling them to just suck it up and be more bold about asking for dates doesn't address the probability that their requests for dates are more likely to get rejected because of these pernicious stereotypes about them. <br /><br />Racism is a real thing, ya know? Even in this area of life.macon dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07795547197817128339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-57946067281503124132010-01-11T20:31:20.263-08:002010-01-11T20:31:20.263-08:00I notice a lot comments blame the white women for ...I notice a lot comments blame the white women for the lack of AM/WF relationships. Is this really the type of attitude you should have while trying to pursue this kind of relationship? I think white males and asian males should stop trying to speak for white girls, thank you very much. As if you can say for certain, every WF likes/dislikes this.<br />People also say things like "white women are less likely to marry outside of their race". Why is this primarily the woman's fault? Men are generally the ones asking us out, and proposing to us. Did anyone consider that maybe it is asian guys and black guys that prefer to marry their own race. Why does the blame always lie with the white female?<br /><br />People speak of this "superior confidence" white women seem to have. It's not true. I am so painfully shy that I would never ask any guy out, asian or not. There are white girls out there that are just as shy as the asian guys that seem to have trouble dating. My best guy friend is asian, attractive and has no problem dating white girls. Why? Because he flat out asks "will you go on a date with me?". Most don't say no. Stop projecting all your woes and troubles on the white female. Just ask, if you get rejected, don't take your anger out on all white women.<br /><br />Looking at these comments, I'd have to say it is the white female that has it the worst. White guys are calling us rude, ugly, fat, stupid and every other cruel insult, as if asian women are practically perfect in everyway. And now non-white guys are pointing the finger at us for not dating them, when most don't even try in the first place. Stop using excuses like "oh feminism means girls should be asking guys out now" or "because she's white she must prefer white men". Feminism is about equal opportunity and equal rights, which until recently was not a reality for many. It does not mean, treat us like men, or ignore all gender roles, or an excuse for females to take revenge on males by acting bitchy or demasculating anyone. I want the guy to ask me out, this does not mean I reject feminism or give the guy an excuse to walk all over the "inferior" female, it's just the way that feels right for me. <br /><br />Talk to girls. Ask them out. Make friends with girls. If you don't do any of these things, don't expect any girl to date you, white or not.Brit Ta Kneenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-61968988185892398762010-01-11T20:08:17.506-08:002010-01-11T20:08:17.506-08:00@ Popcorn:
What's there to drink with it ton...@ Popcorn: <br /><br />What's there to drink with it tonight?!macon dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07795547197817128339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-23128373843251002082010-01-11T20:07:48.145-08:002010-01-11T20:07:48.145-08:00@Justine
If it's not just a blanket statement ...@Justine<br />If it's not just a blanket statement about "all Asian guys" + the sushi making that you mentioned, then why state it as such?<br /><br />Also, you notice the way that the message about white guys pops up all over the place, but you really don't think much more about it. It would help if you read some of the other postings and comments, it might help put this blog into better perspective for you.Drowned Lotuseshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06537623198024160480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-23109171268972025022010-01-11T20:03:24.621-08:002010-01-11T20:03:24.621-08:00@Justine's comment:
Anybody got popcorn?@Justine's comment:<br /><br />Anybody got popcorn?RVCBardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06481089855894764409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-19552845944978194962010-01-11T19:55:44.193-08:002010-01-11T19:55:44.193-08:00I like Asian guys. Why does this statement cause p...I like Asian guys. Why does this statement cause people to go on the defense with their claws out, ready to call racism or stereotyping? Is this really any different than someone saying "I like blond hair and blue eyes"? But, do you shake your fist and accuse this blond-lover of being a Nazi? Probably not. It is a personal preference. Hair/eye color both have varying shades and say nothing on ones personality. Just like being of a certain ethnic group. <br /><br />I think people need to realize that when someone says "I like Asian guys/girls, blond/red/brunetter/black hair, etc." there is a hidden implication that says "who posses characteristics that I find attractive". When someone says "I like Asian guys" they really don't mean ALL Asian guys. They are refering to ones that they are physically attracted to (whatever that may be), that also meet their checklist of personality characteristics. It is just easier to use the all-encompassing statement. The human brain likes to categorize information so it doesn't experience overload. <br /><br />I know people worry about fetishes, but a key part of a relationship is attraction, and I don't think everyone approaches interracial dating with a fetish in mind. I don't look at Asian guys and see some sort of j-pop sensation that will make me sushi or something. And everyone claims White guys have fetish-expectations with Asian girls, but the same could be said for the other way around. White guys have this certain image that Asian girls are latching on to. Go to any board and you'll see common phrases like "Confident, more out-going, less serious, makes more money, has nicer things, less chauvanistic towards wives, isn't cheap etc.etc" As if every white guy is a confident, out-going, big spender with a BMW who will treat you nice.<br /><br />It's time to drop your race card. It has been played enough. I'm talking to EVERYONE. White, Black, Asian, Native American, Brown, Hispanic/Latino, whatever, just stop looking for things you want to see in everything you do. If you look for it, you will find racism in everything. I'm not saying that no one is racist of course, but a lot of by-standers and normal people are getting accused of something ugly merely by saying something as simple as "I like Asian guys".Justinenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-57158696337713183512010-01-09T18:40:33.766-08:002010-01-09T18:40:33.766-08:00>most of them are not in your country but in th...>most of them are not in your country but in their own<br /><br />Really nice going with that comment Joe (I'm being sarcastic). I wonder what the Asian guys in Western countries reading this would think? It would've been better if you phrased that sentence as an opinion or preference instead of fact like you did with the rest of your comment. FYI, the Asian guys I get attracted to are usually the ones who are born and raised in the West. That's my general personal preference when it comes to Asian guys, even though I don't always stick with this.fromthetropicsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-61745795178911280142010-01-09T12:08:26.635-08:002010-01-09T12:08:26.635-08:00all i can say is: I wish that people we're wel...all i can say is: I wish that people we're well-traveled. So that they'd be more open to things. i'm a mixed guy. got 8 different countries' blood in me. And have been lucky enough to have lived for long periods of time both in Asia and the US. I have dated both Asians and whites more whites probably coz they're more agressive than Asian girls. Anyway I've found after travelin' so much that what people say about others doesn't really matter since all races are somewhat racist :D. And that the more you travel the more your eyes are opened u start to understand what you really want instead of goin' for the norm. At this point i've found that i like mixed girls with the asian eyes and face shape but with creamy white skin black hair and a more caucasian nose. My sister, who looks a lot more white than I(i look more sicilian than white) prefers Asian men period. she goes crazy for them korean and jap boys. I guess my point is go for what you really like, don't bother too much with what other people say, and seriously, traveling and actually seeing things for yourself really helps you find yourself faster. <br /><br />To em, white girls there are a lot of good lookin' asian men out there and most of them are not in your country but in their own. So go travel and see the world :D.Joenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-9811649062659089622010-01-09T09:45:39.998-08:002010-01-09T09:45:39.998-08:00Here's my idea of a hot Asian dude.
And then ...Here's my idea of a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYNUXCmXLPQ&feature=channel" rel="nofollow">hot Asian dude</a>.<br /><br />And then here's the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yj38VPXl1w" rel="nofollow">real hunk</a>. He speaketh great English too ;) Enjoy.fromthetropicsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-26859443364265813572009-12-21T05:05:59.581-08:002009-12-21T05:05:59.581-08:00What a crazy thread and site. Not even sure how I ...What a crazy thread and site. Not even sure how I happened upon this.. but it's got me thinking. I am over 40 and on a trip to Asia earlier this year was seduced, much to my surprise, by an Asian (Khmer)guy. It was totally unexpected because he's significantly younger than me and I wasn't anticipating anything, so his flirting caught me unawares. I have never not found Asian guys attractive, but just haven't really been around them and all my relationships have been with Anglo men. My preferred male body type is slim, but this "friend" is actually overweight, so it wasn't physical attraction - at first. <br />How to describe why it's so nice (and I notice no-one has mentioned anything much about the mechanics of attraction or the elephant in the room - size) ... it was just a totally different energy to anything I've known before. He asked me if I'd ever kissed a guy from a another culture, so I couldn't say 'no' and leave it at that. <br />Well, it's probably the best kiss I've ever had in my life. I'm still pondering if the difference is because he's Asian or it's just him - but everything is just more .. sensual... (gosh, I could wax lyrical here, but better to have some discretion). <br />We are still in a relationship, despite being 15,000 or so km apart, and he's visited my country since. I have had acres of doubts about the power imbalance, whether my appeal to him is primarily economic or whiteness, etc, or whether it's just pragmatism - if you are Asian and in your 20s and waiting to marry a virgin, the opportunites to get laid are fairly limited - you either pay a local or find a friendly white girl. And it's clear as you travel through SE Asia that whiteness and westerners are fetishized. <br />But despite wrestling with lots of 'whys?' and the ethics of it all .. in the end in our situation works. And we are both smiling. <br />Now, I notice Asian guys a lot and LOVED the video. Fantastic. Go for it girls...flowerdewnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-7691754819412347152009-12-07T13:26:49.510-08:002009-12-07T13:26:49.510-08:00[Dear Anonymous person who didn't bother to fo...[Dear Anonymous person who didn't bother to follow the request on this "Post a Comment" page of using a name,<br /><br />Thank you for submitting a comment to "stuff white people do." Unfortunately, I am declining publication of your comment. It would clearly not advance the discussion here, due to its useless and potentially hurtful reiteration of stereotypical notions regarding passive Asian masculinity and aggressive white masculinity. If you'd like to craft a comment that attends more carefully and respectfully to the comments above and to the post itself, I welcome your efforts. Sincerely, macon]macon dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07795547197817128339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-63389606535410718752009-11-20T12:41:11.703-08:002009-11-20T12:41:11.703-08:00If I wasn't happily married, I would absolutel...If I wasn't happily married, I would absolutely date an asian man. Chalk it back to my anime obsession in my teen years or whatever, but I've always had a thing for asian men. (Yes I was a part of that "geeky" anime subculture in the 90's) I've always joked that I think I might have been asian in my past life.<br /><br />On the other hand, my little sister has never really been attracted to asian men. They're just not her type. *shrug*<br /><br />Honestly, I don't think it's shameful to find people of other ethnicities attractive based on their looks. I really don't know the difference between finding someone physically attractive and "fetishizing" them. It's not like I rule out all other men because they're not asian. I'm attracted to all kinds of ethnicities. Asian is just one of them.Elsarielnoreply@blogger.com