tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post4610667764635551742..comments2024-03-06T08:29:13.333-08:00Comments on stuff white people do: implicitly deny that other people are fully humanmacon dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07795547197817128339noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-17219943164852423902010-01-13T12:44:08.245-08:002010-01-13T12:44:08.245-08:00A (white)fashion blogger I read used to routinely ...A (white)fashion blogger I read used to routinely refer to tan or beige shoes as being "nude" in color. Recently she called such shoes "taupe", I think just by chance. <br /><br />I wrote a friendly comment on that entry, thanking her for choosing the word "taupe" instead of "nude", and referring her back to this entry. (The "taupe" shoes and my comment are here: http://www.fashionunder100.net/2009/12/eva-longorias-style-for-9979.html).<br /><br />She didn't reply, but since that day, she has posted several pairs of shoes in that color, and referred to them as "tan", "beige", or "taupe".<br /><br />So here's something else white people do: Listen, and change their habits! Nice.FashionLovernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-64342275344748545102009-12-27T08:22:19.213-08:002009-12-27T08:22:19.213-08:00I thought your article was well written.
What I d...I thought your article was well written.<br /><br />What I do not understand though is why you guys are so sensitive living with other cultures.<br /><br />I lived with my mate for 8 months renting, and everytime his friends would come over alot of them would look down at me. Guess what? They were from a country known as India.<br /><br />What I do not understand coming from my perspective is how I get treated from all my friends that happen to look different to myself. I notice to be extremely friendly more so than to myself with strangers that have black skin.<br /><br />When I lived with a stranger that got out of jail, one of my closest brothers. A black guy if we want to get racial. I told him I was searching for my bloodlines and gave him some last names.<br /><br />Months later he told me he knew a guy in jail with that name. Who he had beaten up because he said he was black, but looked white as white.<br /><br />Welcome to my world. I am white as white and yet also a Black man.<br /><br />If the colour of band aids is a big deal to you, change them, etc etc.<br /><br />Thats what I do. There must be a huge problem with racism in USA. Its cool here. We are pretty much treated all the same.<br /><br />Yet if I were to move to CHina I cannot expect that Chinese history and culture was different to mine.<br /><br />I can't hate them for it. It is what it is... but I can change it through action.<br /><br />I think all of us humans have a long way to go. I do not suffer a lot of racism... probably once or twice a month.<br /><br />Yet I'm born with a disability and people treat me like garbage all the time... call me names etc etc.<br /><br />It's tough and all I ever do is put a positive spin on things and keep moving along.<br /><br />Listen alot of you people whinge okay.. yes okay that culture is populated by white culture. Okay?<br /><br />But your not powerless. When I tried to get my book published... no-one would after 200 tries. So I opened my own publishing house.<br /><br />When I wanted to get my news out. I began a small Newspaper.<br /><br />When I wanted to get on tv. I bought my own camera.<br /><br />History is His Story. I encourage you today to write your own history and change it.<br /><br />I do not know how bad it is in the USA but guys you can do anything don't let bullshit propoganda or mind control crap get in your way.<br /><br />None of this is racist crap that I write, okay...? Keep moving along like the rest of us and change what you have to. Whites aren't even the ones on top anymore - Its moving over to the Chinese.<br /><br />USA is broke... 14 trillion in debt.<br /><br />In the country I live do you honestly think I want to watch crappy American Proppganda on my tv set everyday.<br /><br />I get tired of hearing the President of the USA always being called for the last 30 years the most powerful man on Earth, what a joke. I have to then watch British bullshit Tv and alot of Chinese crap.<br /><br />Stuff that dont represent me. So I dont watch tv,<br /><br />My gripe isn't racism mine us the USA's continual stream of bullshit propganda and believing they are the pioneers and leaders of everything leading the way.<br /><br />They continue on and theyre bankrupt.. through the teeth. The Patriotism and the police state that they live under whilst they are told they live in the land of the free and the home of the brave.<br /><br />I'm tired of that crap. Cos its crap and people believe it. Half of the stuff we read is propoganda selling someone elses agenda.<br /><br />My point is many have complained about things which is good, chnage em.<br /><br />What there would be a huge market for flesh coloured band aids? Where I live we have flesh ones that aren't pink coloured.<br /><br />Say the make-up story package make-up with flesh designed for that other market, make a fortune...!!Scooby Doonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-28245841331976545532009-12-26T10:07:37.929-08:002009-12-26T10:07:37.929-08:00fromthetropics- Ugh, yes! I do theater and immedia...fromthetropics- Ugh, yes! I do theater and immediatly knew the makeup line you saw was Ben Nye. Chinese is darker and almost jaundiced yellow. They're meant to be used to modify foundation to the correct undertone or alone to change the skin completely. I will never understand why they chose these names. Look at the chart below. Everything else besides light and dark Egyptian has normal names:<br /><br />http://www.backstageshop.co.uk/acatalog/bennye-colourcake.jpgCloudynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-39522119694263150832009-12-26T09:16:04.487-08:002009-12-26T09:16:04.487-08:00Everybody take a drink!!!Everybody take a drink!!!RVCBardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06481089855894764409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-34319307589549501122009-12-26T08:03:56.074-08:002009-12-26T08:03:56.074-08:00Ima,
You totally missed the point of what's a...Ima,<br /><br />You totally missed the point of what's absurd about this post. It's the not post itself; it's that "white" has <i>come to mean</i> "normal" in white minds. As I wrote in the post, <br /><br /><i>what white people think of as normal and natural ways of doing things are actually common white ways of doing things. Just as this conception of "flesh" actually stands for "white" flesh, so "white" commonly stands for "normal." The word "white" itself often gets replaced by the word "normal" -- in white minds.</i><br /><br />THAT'S the real absurdity, and as I also wrote in the post, it's often NOT what happens in non-white minds. In essence, then, white people are comparatively delusional in these terms. Finally, thank you for providing us with an actual demonstration of that delusion.macon dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07795547197817128339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-33197874183960000542009-12-26T07:59:20.510-08:002009-12-26T07:59:20.510-08:00This whole post is absurd.
The US is a majority-w...This whole post is absurd.<br /><br />The US is a majority-white country - and just 50 years ago was no less than 90% white.<br /><br />It should be no more surprising that white is considered the norm in the US than that ethnic Chinese are considered the norm in China or black Africans the norm in Africa.<br /><br />Yes, you can bitch and whine about how it's unfair for people to notice that you look different from the majority blah blah blah but it's only natural, and is the case all over the world.Ima Pinheadnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-20624182788839269172009-12-23T20:26:26.712-08:002009-12-23T20:26:26.712-08:00@Willow, who said or, rather, the two notables are...@Willow, who said <i>or, rather, the two notables are snow and bird poop</i><br /><br />My husband calls me "fishbelly" to tease me. He was rather appalled when I decided to use that as one of my dancing names (which is exactly why I chose to use it, LOL - passive-aggressive teasing subversion).<br /><br />More on topic, I was reading one of our daily newspapers last week and within two pages of each other, there were two stories about police looking for suspects. One was about three men who'd sexually assaulted a woman, and the other was about (IIRC) some violent theft. The suspects in the theft article were identified as black. The sexual assault article, which was larger, went into great detail about the suspects' appearances; some of the details I remember were that one had a gold necklace with a letter "P" hanging from it, another had corkscrews shaven into his hair, and two of them were wearing parkas with fur around the hood. Yet there was no mention of race - <i>none</i>. I had to reread it, puzzled, before the light suddenly clicked on and I realized they must be white, and that's why the race wasn't mentioned. Just plain people, indeed. :( Whenever it's a PoC, the first descriptor is always race.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08775402675080387821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-16352889661494752122009-12-20T08:13:06.059-08:002009-12-20T08:13:06.059-08:00>I challenge all writers...to come up with not ...>I challenge all writers...to come up with not only better descriptions of skin colors<br /><br />I came across a theater makeup box a few months back. They had colors like cream, peach, brown, etc. and...'Japanese'. To which I thought, huh? How come that color has got an ethnic label to it? (None of the others did.) But that wasn't the end of it. A couple of rows down I saw, 'Chinese'. And I thought, Ermmm, what? Unfortunately, I couldn't open the drawers to check what the difference was between the two.fromthetropicsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-39759731438391843102009-12-20T07:53:04.362-08:002009-12-20T07:53:04.362-08:00Here's another thing White women tend to assum...Here's another thing White women tend to assume, that I would be interested in media (stories, movies, TV shows) that feature soley a White cast, especially a White female cast. I can't tell you how many WW have recommended <i>Sex In The City, Mean Girls</i> and <i>Desperate Housewives</i> to me. If I tell them I get enough of the ersatz gorgeousness of White womanhood shoved down my throat with my media as is and that I cannot stomach seeing it unadulterated and concentrated in hour-long dosages, then I sound shrill. Yet that's how I feel. They cannot understand that I need an ESCAPE from the continuous message that WW are really where it's at and that I'm no where near the ballpark. <br /><br />Besides, I've seen <i>Mean Girls</i> before and done better. It's called <i>Heathers</i>.Witchsistahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01603586060096649666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-54239506374018415422009-12-20T07:48:26.042-08:002009-12-20T07:48:26.042-08:00Honeybrown,
Maybe YOU don't care whether vari...Honeybrown,<br /><br />Maybe YOU don't care whether various food items are used to describe WoC. And guess what? You don't have to. But other WoC have expressed dismay that we are often described in terms of consumable items. They have just as much a right to be bothered by it as you have of not being bothered by it. <br /><br />Trust me, no one here is going to revoke your Black Card/Ghetto Pass. The Soul Patrol is not going to issue you a ticket. Believe me, many of us "genuine" Negroes here would be and have been ticketed in the past for sundry presumed transgressions against Blackness even though we may look much "Blacker" than you.<br /><br />I've seen on many a website that when race is discussed, inevitably some PoC comes out and presents themselves as a "good darkie" to juxtapose themselves against those oversensitive, chip-on-their-shoulders, bitter, jealous, resentful, lazy, want-something-for-nothing, unreasonable "bad darkies." All this adds up to is yet another silencing mechanism. <br /><br />Am I silencing the so-called "good darkies" now. If you're not bothered by something that vexes us bad darkies, shouldn't you have just as much right to say so? Yes, you do. But just as I should frame my objections in a way that does not impugn you (i.e. suggest that my way/opinion is the right way and any other opinion is lesser or somehow not authentically PoC or Black), so should you frame yours in a way that does not paint the rest of us as nitpicky, unreasonable, oversensitive, bad darkies.<br /><br />Actually, I challenge all writers (myself included even though I'm a very dilettante, hobbyist, amateur one) to come up with not only better descriptions of skin colors (including realizing that people are not all one color all over their bodies), but I challenge them to find ways to describe naptural Black hair (yeah, THAT kind of Black hair), short hair and dark-brown eyes in a desirable, varied way like they regularly can for straight, long hair and non-dark-brown eyes.Witchsistahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01603586060096649666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-39321129572120069252009-12-20T01:04:04.947-08:002009-12-20T01:04:04.947-08:00Oh yeah. Beauty is presumed to be white. I learned...Oh yeah. Beauty is presumed to be white. I learned this early, because I grew up reading The Classics (which are white). I loved the language in those books, but there was one descriptor I quickly grew to hate, and which was apparently in use well into the 1950s: "fair." I successfully blocked out a lot in order to enjoy those books, but I just couldn't get past that stupid word, and they used it a <i>lot.</i> It wasn't long before I made an agreement with my brain: we decided that "fair" simply means "pretty." No connotation of "pale." Otherwise, it was too much for a geeky brown tween girl to take. (Really? No solace, even here, alone in my bedroom reading Jane Austen? That's harsh, guys.) I still read historical fiction and nonfiction and things set in historical times, and "fair"— and all its iterations— bugs me to this day. (Of course the explicit pale=pretty meme lives on. For example, I understand Twilight takes it to sparkling new heights.)<br /><br />I made a similar mental compromise for "flesh-colored." I decided that "flesh" referred to the color you'd see if you took a core sample or cross-section of skin. Like, the "flesh" of an apple is specifically not the skin, right? Similarly, all human flesh is a sort of pale meaty pink... right? True, that didn't make sense in reference to pantyhose and band-aids, but there you go. I had to retain my sanity somehow.<br /><br />Oh, and don't even get me started on blue eyes. Am I the only person who thinks opaque cornflower blue is the <i>least</i> interesting eye color? Not unattractive, just... dull. I've always preferred brown, especially clear brown— "topaz"? (Maybe I'm weird; I don't really like diamonds either. They're so boring. Opals: that's where it's at!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-72400837506439217052009-12-18T07:33:09.054-08:002009-12-18T07:33:09.054-08:00@ honeybrown:
>> "So, I'm wonderi...@ honeybrown: <br /><br />>> <i>"So, I'm wondering if the person may have a lack of experience with various readings."</i><br /><br />This is a critical point; I think it depends a LOT on what genre you read, and when the books were written. But I do like thesciencegirl's point about makeup shades.<br /><br />>> <i>"Could it be that there are far more ways to describe the vast tones of brown/black via food and other means than our white counterparts?"</i><br /><br />Well, there are a lot more nice-sounding adjectives to desribe 'brown' than 'beige,' that is for sure. Presumably because things in nature don't tend to resemble Elmer's glue? ^_^ (or, rather, the two notables are snow and bird poop)Willownoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-64827565390791476202009-12-17T23:08:03.999-08:002009-12-17T23:08:03.999-08:00@Willow
>"It is not okay when WP use gems...@Willow<br /><br />>"It is not okay when WP use gemstones and precious metals to describes whites, and food to describe POC."<<<br /><br />But, here's the thing; I have read descriptions of both WOC and WW described as jewels/gemstones (e.g. Amber, Topez, Onyx, Black Pearl) just as much as I've read descriptions of WW described as food (e.g. Milky skin). So, I'm wondering if the person may have a lack of experience with various readings. <br /><br />Could it be that there are far more ways to describe the vast tones of brown/black via food and other means than our white counterparts?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-49903519742986623712009-12-17T22:34:41.981-08:002009-12-17T22:34:41.981-08:00@ honeybrown:
>> "Am I the only black...@ honeybrown: <br /><br />>> <i>"Am I the only black woman NOT bothered at all by the names given to WOC?"</i><br /><br />Well, me not being black I can't speak personally to that. ;) But the author's point in the interview--I still cannot remember who it was, and it is driving me <i>batty</i>--was more along the lines of, "It is not okay when WP use gemstones and precious metals to describes whites, and <i>food</i> to describe POC."<br /><br />I tend to agree with that--I'm all in favor of creative, pleasant descriptive terms, and as I said above my hair is very definitely dark chocolate--but when the categories are are sharply delineated as they seem to be in this case (like thesciencegirl pointed out re:makeup at Walgreens), <i>then</i> it's time for <b>white people</b> to maybe reconsider the terms we use. (NONE of this should be interpreted as me telling POC, especially WOC, how they are "allowed" to describe themselves).Willownoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-67575566123874401052009-12-17T22:12:47.736-08:002009-12-17T22:12:47.736-08:00bluey512 -
Regarding women described as animals:...bluey512 - <br /><br />Regarding women described as animals: I've gotta differ with you. I've often heard white women characterized as bunnies, pets, kittens, doe-eyed, vixens, chicks, birds, coltish, fillies, old mares, old hens, cows, sows, nags, shrews, queen bees and bitches. Quite a menagerie.the Vetnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-11729460364442395612009-12-17T19:17:42.428-08:002009-12-17T19:17:42.428-08:00Am I the only black woman NOT bothered at all by t...Am I the only black woman NOT bothered at all by the names given to WOC? Hell, look at my name. It's pretty obvious that I don't have a problem describing my skin tone as such. Let's face it black people come in all shades. Why not embrace those shades creatively?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-14120095255686338972009-12-17T19:05:20.256-08:002009-12-17T19:05:20.256-08:00I'm not blaming you or any other black person ...I'm not blaming you or any other black person for the issues I'm describing, Witchsistah. What I'm saying is that there's a vicious circle going on. Not enough WP say black women are or can be pretty, therefore black women think WP who say so are insincere, therefore no one dares say black women are pretty. Like a lot of racial dynamics, it got started before any of the current participants were born and continues because it's self-reinforcing - because both parties are being reasonable, not because anyone is being unreasonable. And I guess also because some white people actually don't think black women are attractive, which feeds into the lack of people who say they are and reinforces the whole problem.<br /><br />And yeah, this sort of thing does make a lot of white people feel like black people can never be satisfied. Because if you aren't thinking in terms of vicious cycles and so on - if you're brand new to thinking about race, in particular - it's extremely easy to fall into that kind of thinking. I've definitely done some of that myself. So yeah, white people are kind of stuck in that groove.<br /><br />I'd like to point out that I never claimed all white people appreciate black beauty, or that you should go around thinking discrimination has vanished because one white person says she does. I'm not trying to convince you of that. Though I do think it's likely that you are underestimating the number of white people who actually don't have this weird concept in their heads that black women are inherently unattractive.<br /><br />And the number who don't even realize that black hair has anything to do with politics. I didn't until the past year or so. Like personally, I didn't know what the word "nappy" meant until Don Imus. Didn't even occur to me that black hair could be considered intrinsically unprofessional. I'm talking utter ignorance here.<br /><br />Also, I figure, just because someone thinks blackness can be gorgeous, it doesn't mean they wouldn't discriminate. That is, "pretty" isn't the same thing as "professional." Or even "dateable" for that matter. So I'm thinking there's way more than one barrier there. It's not all about beauty standards.bluey512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-59399307057994040042009-12-17T15:12:18.212-08:002009-12-17T15:12:18.212-08:00Bluey, you can see this as yet another example of ...Bluey, you can see this as yet another example of "those darkies are never satisfied" if you want to. That's your perogative. And I predicted it because White folks seem to STAY stuck in that groove.<br /><br />What I was trying to say is that the gushing doesn't seem sincere because what I've experienced in the REAL WORLD has been the opposite. If there's all this White admiration for Black women's looks then why aren't Black women presented more as objects of desire and women of beauty in the media? Why do so many White folks think it's a compliment to tell a BW "You're pretty for a Black girl?"<br /><br />It's like what I said about gushing about Black hair. All this supposed White admiration for it yet Black women catch hell for daring to actually WEAR it in public. From folks who won't hire us for it to random White folks wanting to pet it like it was alpaca wool.<br /><br />Yeah, I'm sorry you and other White folks view it as such a hardship that PoC are not a monolith with one answer to every racial question or one racial view and therefore are making you actually THINK about how you view us instead of being able to give us pat answers to satisfy us all in one fell swoop.<br /><br />But while you all are commiserating about us unreasonable darkies, perhaps you'll find some empathy for us having to deal with a constant onslaught of microagressions and thrown-away phrases that provide windows into White people's real thoughts about us.<br /><br />Eh, that may be WAY too much to ask.Witchsistahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01603586060096649666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-61631784635158707472009-12-17T10:05:09.204-08:002009-12-17T10:05:09.204-08:00I have definitely noticed the trend of describing ...I have definitely noticed the trend of describing WOC with food terms, and it drives me crazy. Cosmetic brands do this as well. Go to walgreens and start reading the names of foundation on one of the makeup brands, and you'll notice that the lighter tones are all like "ivory, medium beige, etc" and you hit brown and suddenly, it's "caramel or toasted honey."nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11285430099883802519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-33615813263055734942009-12-17T08:59:06.274-08:002009-12-17T08:59:06.274-08:00Witchsistah, wow, I really connect with what you&#...Witchsistah, wow, I really connect with what you've heard other white people say about black hair. I literally almost said that exact thing about how short black hair has so much body and texture the way it is in my last post. I was going to give Wanda Sykes as an example.<br /><br />Now I'm really curious what white people's attitudes toward black hair and beauty actually are on the whole, and how it breaks down by age and region. I know that I personally do like a wide variety of looks, including specifically black looks, but I have only the vaguest sense of how other white people feel about this, because I would feel really weird asking anyone. Except my sister, whom I talked to last night. She agreed that it was an obvious fact that black women can be beautiful. She was like, "Hello, Gina Torres anyone?"<br /><br />On the other hand, that doesn't explain the behavior you've seen, of white people not saying any of these things until you say something about Euro-centric beauty standards and then trying to convince you of their high opinion of black people in their obvious embarrassment. I agree that that sounds very insincere.<br /><br />But I know for a solid fact that I am being sincere, and I'm sure others are too. Let's say some white people think black features are pretty and some don't. What keeps the ones who do from saying so freely and frequently?<br /><br />Probably fear of saying anything at all about race. I mean, white people are pretty insecure about race. We're never quite sure what's going to piss people off, and in fact it usually feels like no matter what a white person says about race, it will piss <i>someone</i> off. My own experience in this very thread bears that out. If I had said black women were ugly due to black features like very dark skin, tightly curled hair, etc., you would have been offended. Instead I said black women can be pretty because of their black features... and you were annoyed.<br /><br />The only way I could have avoided a negative reaction on this issue was to say nothing at all. Like I said, I don't go around saying how pretty black features are in real life, because I kind of sensed this would happen. So that seems to me like an extremely plausible explanation for why you don't hear white women gushing over how beautiful black women are.bluey512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-66010708178368401022009-12-17T06:37:41.149-08:002009-12-17T06:37:41.149-08:00>> "Also "ebony" is often app...>> <i>"Also "ebony" is often applied to POC."</i><br /><br />Oh. Oh goodness. Memories. When I was little, I had "ebony" and "ivory" mixed up in my mind--one of the families next door to us had immigrated from the Ivory Coast. I was in preschool when they moved in, and it never occurred to me that you would name a country after something besides the people who lived there. I don't think I flipped it around the right way until sixth grade, when someone referred to my father's black hair as ebony. I am *still* surprised when I go back to read books I loved as a kid to discover that a character I would have <i>sworn</i> was white is actually black, and vice versa. ::sighs:: <br /><br />And yes, this means that as a child I had the idea that there were a bunch of blonde-haired black women running around Victorian London. Somehow this seemed perfectly logical.Willownoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-71200623115918081792009-12-17T04:14:48.945-08:002009-12-17T04:14:48.945-08:00Here's my story of how I learnt this lesson ye...Here's my story of how I learnt this lesson years ago. I was talking to a black male friend about what color stockings look good on women. He said he likes black stockings. With my facial expression I indicated that I didn't like that. I said I like natural colored stockings. He gently said, "Oh, and what color would that be?" The rest of the conversation went something like this:<br /><br />Me - (slightly confused) "You know, natural color. As in a color that matches your skin."<br />Him - "Oh, and what color is that?"<br />Me - (More confused) "Uh, creamish color that matches your skin."<br />Him - "Well, what if you have darker skin?"<br />Me - (Quite confused) "Then you get darker colored stockings that match your skin." <br />Him - "That's why I like black stockings."<br />Me - "But black looks like she's trying too hard to be sexy."<br />Him - (still speaking gently) "Okay, if I had a sister, what color stockings would look good on her? Try to imagine it in your mind."<br />Me - (imagining...pause) "Oooooohhhh"<br />Him - (looking satisfied that the bulb finally went on in my head). "Uhuh. That's why I like black stockings on girls."<br />Me - (embarrassed) "Oooooooohhhhhh" <br /><br />That was one of the best lessons I've had. One of those moments of epiphany.fromthetropicsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-77565217250309679022009-12-16T14:29:35.142-08:002009-12-16T14:29:35.142-08:00I'm guessing when it comes to white people'...<i>I'm guessing when it comes to white people's opinions of POC, whites say one thing and do another so often that it's impossible to know whether any one WP is being sincere. And then when you are a white person sincerely saying something nice about POC, you feel stupid about it because people think you're blowing sunshine up their asses.<br /><br />Well, I'd love to be able to say I don't think beauty is contingent on race without being laughed at, and I'm sure you'd love to know that people aren't just trying to butter you up when they say black women are beautiful, so... hooray anti-racism, I guess.</i><br /><br />Bluey, that's exactly why I give White folks the fish eye when they start going on and on about how they appreciate "Black beauty" or how they think I'm pretty. It usually comes after I've pointed out the White supremacy in their thinking of beauty and they're rushing to give ME and Black people a compliment so I don't mentally check "KKK" next to their name and image. <br /><br />And it also sounds so damn self-conscious and unnatural too. Like when WW say "But I LOVE your hair! Black women have the best hair! You all can do so much with it! You all can wear it super short and still have curls and STYLE to it! I'd look like a badly plucked chicken!" Or even "White people just don't think much about Black people's hair at all."<br /><br />Yeah, well, if you all love it so damn much or just don't think about it at all, then why have Black women had to sue White-owned, White-headed companies for the past 40 years regarding racist guidelines about how it's appropriate to wear our hair? Why did a staffer from Glamour feel perfectly comfortable and secure saying that us wearing our hair in styles conducive to its texture was utterly inappropriate for the office in front of a group of LAWYERS no less?! Why is our hair described in animalistic terms and often seen as a sign of savageness, of being uncivilized? Why do they feel our hair must be tamed and controlled? Why does it strike fear and uncertainty in Whites when they see Black women wearing our hair in naptural styles?<br /><br />See, it's THAT shit that makes me just roll my eyes when I hear yet another White person drone on about how much they appreciate Black looks. It's usually because I've seen nor heard ANY indication of that in their lives BEFORE that utterance (and usually see none of it hence). So it rings very false to me.<br /><br />Perhaps if they had complimented a variety of women in the past I'd be more likely to believe them. And I don't mean walking up to women and complimenting them on their body parts. But I've been out with girlfriends and have pointed out women I thought looked lovely, "Oh look at her! Her skin almost GLOWS! Maybe I should ask her what she does?" "That outfit looks stunning on her, but then she has the curves to fill it out and pull it off." If I heard more Whites doing THAT with WoC, especially Black women who look good and Black and not do it in a way that says "She somehow manages to be attractive IN SPITE OF her not being White" but actually BECAUSE of her non-White looks, I'd be much more apt to believe a White person when they say they appreciate others' unique beauty.<br /><br />It'd also be convincing if they found those folks good-looking enough to DATE as well, but that may be asking way too much.Witchsistahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01603586060096649666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-87891513617262782192009-12-16T13:17:13.571-08:002009-12-16T13:17:13.571-08:00Oh, good point. Also "ebony" is often a...Oh, good point. Also "ebony" is often applied to POC.<br /><br />Yeah, white women are rarely compared to animals in my experience.bluey512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-68835072656096158462009-12-16T13:16:50.850-08:002009-12-16T13:16:50.850-08:00Bluey, the Mystery Author (GAH! MUST REMEMBER NAME...Bluey, the Mystery Author (GAH! MUST REMEMBER NAME!) mentioned how she had investigated the meanings of precious minerals in various cultures, and how she tried to tie that in to her characters' personalities. I'm kind of thinking she said something about types of wood as well, but I could be making that up. Wood shades are often used to describe white people's brown hair, so that would strike me as a rich source of terms.<br /><br />You're totally right about the blonde hair/red cheeks:food comparisons. (I'd stick "chestnut" under wood rather than food, I think, but with blonde hair the food terms are myriad). They did not cross my mind simply because I find them tacky (especially red cheeks:cherries...dear heavens) and thus try to ignore them even when I read them. ^_^Willownoreply@blogger.com