tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post3548905399312541286..comments2024-03-06T08:29:13.333-08:00Comments on stuff white people do: refuse to see racism when non-white people point it outmacon dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07795547197817128339noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-56657877534670416612009-11-08T05:18:17.845-08:002009-11-08T05:18:17.845-08:00well...the noose was around his neck, you say? i w...well...the noose was around his neck, you say? i woulda grabbed the rope, pulled it tight and tugged on it, saying; 'pretty funny now, huh?'<br /><br />really tho, i think to many whites Lynching is just kind of abstract-they don't REALLY understand if they haven't seen the photos.randynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-25758142469870080202009-11-06T00:52:00.024-08:002009-11-06T00:52:00.024-08:00Simone...
You have been given a gracious gift of ...Simone...<br /><br />You have been given a gracious gift of knowing yourself and the kind of people who should be in your inner circle. <br /><br />Act on the gift. Free yourself of these people. They may come into a realization that lynching isn't something to be mocked for their entertainment but it isn't your job to lead them to that epiphany.<br /><br />I share an excerpt from a Toni Morrison interview with NY magazine for additional insight:<br /><br /><b>Yet none of this is to say that Morrison thinks race has run its course as an American topic (even if Obama wins). “Crude and crass as most of it is and, really, uninformed as almost all of it is, the discourse about race is important,” she says. “But the real conversation should take place among white people. They should talk to each other about that. Not with me. I can’t be the doctor and the patient.”</b>MartiniCocoahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12509335664000215080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-69279561141906435112009-11-05T19:23:42.176-08:002009-11-05T19:23:42.176-08:00Hi Simone,
I'm really sorry that happened, a...Hi Simone,<br /> <br />I'm really sorry that happened, and for this BW your story hit home. I recently ended a long friendship with my BF (white), so you'll have to excuse me if I sound unreasonably angry towards your friend, whom I imagine means alot to you. Otherwise you wouldn't have bothered writing.<br /><br />My BF from high school was white, and I experienced alot of these situations until our relationship came to a dead end when her racism was finally directed towards my family the week before her wedding. While I was really upset, I can't say I didn't see the signs before hand. Deep down I understand that she can be an exceptional person, but she just wasn't interested in defending my world to hers, and thought it best that I compromise to keep things peaceful.<br /><br />It's not that they want to be racist, but they also don't want to be black. They want to be able to date people who don't take these things so seriously, and they want to hang out with their friends, ignorant to racism. They want to come home from school/work and live in privilege, and as long as you are black and occasionally offended, that could get in their way. <br /><br />I'm with Dan. Find new friends.M.J.Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01654236771168317279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-39367712854945775952009-11-05T07:58:01.534-08:002009-11-05T07:58:01.534-08:00@Capon.
No, he does not get a so called 'free...@Capon.<br /><br />No, he does not get a so called 'free pass' because he is a minority.<br />It is still wrong and just as terrible and dehumanizing if he was White or any other ethnicity.<br /><br />:\<br />Ignorance these days.Fainoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-24348806491521286782009-11-05T07:46:09.414-08:002009-11-05T07:46:09.414-08:00Capon, you and your friends fail in life. Accept i...Capon, you and your friends fail in life. Accept it. It's not cool, period.<br /><br />I have a Facebook friend/fellow teacher that posed with some dude in blackface, an Afro wig, and Obama shirt. How do I deal with this?honeybrown1976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-81847757100138883022009-11-05T07:38:59.046-08:002009-11-05T07:38:59.046-08:00I attended a halloween party this year dressed wit...I attended a halloween party this year dressed with my brother as a "Smile Now, Cry Later" hispanic cholo costume, I am from Northern European descent. My bandmate that also attended the same said event with a rented costume of a Nazi officers uniform, My friend is 100% African American!!! Is he insensitive to the opions of Jews or in denial of the holocaust, No! Does he get a free pass because he is a minority, mostly yes. But It Was Funny!!!!!!!!!!caponnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-43777368878031473352009-11-05T07:06:14.509-08:002009-11-05T07:06:14.509-08:00"I have realized in the last few years that i..."I have realized in the last few years that it becomes nearly impossible for me to maintain friendships with white people who are not actively anti-racist. It is not enough for them to just be nice people or to generally not be racist. "<br /><br />Yup.<br /><br />Hey, that guy with the noose is a scumbag. And he needs a punch, that's my take. And your friend is ignorant, maybe thats the worst crime we can accuse them of. But right now, we cannot call them "friend." Or I wouldn't.nezuahttp://www.theunapologeticmexican.org/elmachetenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-18098395149009847042009-11-05T01:34:26.382-08:002009-11-05T01:34:26.382-08:00I have realized in the last few years that it beco...<b>I have realized in the last few years that it becomes nearly impossible for me to maintain friendships with white people who are not actively anti-racist.</b><br /><br />Yeah, me too.<br /><br />LisaMJ, I agree with you that the boyfriend sounds like someone not worth Simone wasting her time, but at the same time, if that's how the majority culture is, we can't ignore them all, can we? They are the ones that need the most convincing of how wrong something like DRESSING UP AS A LYNCHED BLACK PERSON is. And how terrorizing, dehumanizing, and murdering people based on their race isn't something that's to be celebrated or used as entertainment. If we ignore them, they will perpetuate the ignorance and we will continue to be seen as less than human.Doreennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-26018501547798751342009-11-04T17:37:46.533-08:002009-11-04T17:37:46.533-08:00One thing I, as an African-American male, am afrai...One thing I, as an African-American male, am afraid you still don't/haven't considered. Those persons that find this 'hilarious' are likely the same 'type' of people that would've done the lynching in the first place. Now that crew is bad enough, but what reinforced it was the group that said nothing, came out to watch and cheer or just held their piece. <br /><br />These types of actions kept lynching in place as a viable tool of terrorism for centuries.<br /><br />Your <i>friend</i> and her boyfriend fit into both groups. What you need to realize is this makes them a clear and present danger to you. No friendship is worth your life. Think about that!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01708053754472757019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-88322932494262640472009-11-04T16:47:12.725-08:002009-11-04T16:47:12.725-08:00First of all, I'm so - so sorry you had to exp...First of all, I'm so - so sorry you had to experience that and then to further compound the issue, you have liekly lost a friend. Mind you, I'm sure she will apologize "for" her ignorant piece of shit boyfriend and maybe even her passivity, but I think that deep down inside of you, you know this is one of those things where an apology just doesn't smooth it over. You'll probably always look back on this and not be able to respect your friend for just standing there.<br /><br />I think that was a shitty thing for her to do. I wouldn't be able to speak to her again. I would take the time to let her know that she has changed things between you two and I wouldn't talk to her again. If you feel inclined to tell her the details of why or to send her a letter even, then go for it. But I think she knows. She denied how she felt about it by shutting up when she saw that moron thought it was funny. <br /><br />As for the dudes - one of them you were hardly friends with to begin with. I honestly don't know how I'd handle him. But I'd look for pictures of the one in the costume on FB or something, save them and do something with them... I don't know what - but something. I'm just sayin..Victoriahttp://vintagelux.wordpres.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-38532076289417607212009-11-04T16:36:03.014-08:002009-11-04T16:36:03.014-08:00Hi Simone,
I'm a little late to the party, bu...Hi Simone,<br /><br />I'm a little late to the party, but I'd like to reiterate the fact that you were right, and your friend and her boyfriend were wrong. I'm a young white woman, and I would have been furious had a costume like that popped up at the party I attended on Halloween. I would have insisted that the hosts throw that person out. If they didn't, I would've left and asked everyone to leave with me.<br /><br />I don't understand your friend's reaction (or lack thereof). I do not have any black friends, but had I been with one of my Asian or Latino friends and saw a costume that was insensitive to their race, I would have, as a white person, felt deeply embarrassed.<br /><br />A woman at my office sent around an e-mail making fun of the way Chinese Americans speak English. My stomach tied itself up into a million little knots at the thought of one of my Chinese American coworkers--and one of my favorite engineers to work with--seeing that. She has a heavy accent that I know must frustrate her because it keeps her from communicating all that's in her genius brain. I complained about the e-mail to my boss, who said she hadn't thought if it that way but ultimately agreed with me.<br /><br />Again, Simone, I'm so sorry to hear not only that this happened to you.Chelseanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-74726389714248255372009-11-04T09:31:17.419-08:002009-11-04T09:31:17.419-08:00Great replies here. It good to see that there are ...Great replies here. It good to see that there are folk that would stand up to this cowardly bullshit.<br /><br />You've just gotten a new reader.NightFall914https://www.blogger.com/profile/14724844848180956355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-13919663903631828072009-11-04T08:42:16.389-08:002009-11-04T08:42:16.389-08:00Simone here:
Thanks for all your comments. i don&#...Simone here:<br />Thanks for all your comments. i don't think I will bother to talk to her about it, because she isn't the type of person who you can sit down and talk with. i dunno why, she just wouldn't listen, and then say I'm making a big deal. So I'll just let this friendship go for now. Maybe one day, when she breaks up with her racist boyfriend, she'll be back to normal and I can feel comfortable around her again, but until then, I'll just leave it be.Kaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07667951086537814297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-29164477920400066132009-11-04T06:52:45.732-08:002009-11-04T06:52:45.732-08:00Simone, I agree with Jillian. It seems like the p...Simone, I agree with Jillian. It seems like the problem is that your friend has trouble standing up to her boyfriend.<br /><br />Alternatively, she may have kept quiet because she thought a black person's perspective might be more convincing to her boyfriend than her own.<br /><br />You won't know until you talk to her. If her intentions are good and she's committed to being a loyal friend, she'll listen to what you say and try to change her behavior. If she doesn't do that, then I don't see the point of being friends with her. And if you don't want to go to the trouble of having that talk, that's okay too.<br /><br />Regardless of what you do or don't do about your friend, you definitely were not overreacting to the costume. Black people dying is not funny. Period.bluey512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-10274615635939823172009-11-04T06:19:27.602-08:002009-11-04T06:19:27.602-08:00If that were me at that stage in life, I would hav...If that were me at that stage in life, I would have possibly did jail time. Jettison these clowns fast!Herneithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-88173349294487095412009-11-04T05:31:30.964-08:002009-11-04T05:31:30.964-08:00Of course I'm a male ('white'), but in...Of course I'm a male ('white'), but in your position, I'd have been sorely tempted to plant a boot in the fellow's nutsack and then, when he dropped gasping to the floor, grabbed the noose around his neck, hoisted the asswipe to his feet and asked him if he STILL thought lynching black folk was "hilarious.".Woody (Tokin Librul/Rogue Scholar/ Helluvafella!)https://www.blogger.com/profile/09205896988142798901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-10331282549379419152009-11-04T05:26:54.983-08:002009-11-04T05:26:54.983-08:00Simone,
If you still want to be friends with this...Simone,<br /><br />If you still want to be friends with this girl, you need to have a serious talk with her. She probably doesn't understand that her passive attitude was even more hurtful to you than seeing that costume.<br /><br />You could show her how much it upset you by refusing to see her when her boyfriend is present. Tell her you don't want her to choose between you and him, but you just don't feel comfortable around him anymore.<br />If she is indeed your best friend, this should be an alarm signal to her, it should tell her that things are getting out of control with this guy. But if she insists on shoving this guy down your throat... then, sorry, she's not a real friend. You can always meet new people.subbie rosanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-48042403352086979182009-11-04T05:13:36.094-08:002009-11-04T05:13:36.094-08:00@umbrella today
"I can't be close to peo...@umbrella today<br /><br />"I can't be close to people who don't value my voice and my experiences. I can't be close to people who proudly declare that they "don't see race", or tell me "I don't even think of you as black!". Because it's those same people who don't see racism, especially when they themselves are the ones perpetrating it. "<br /><br />OMG, yes! It drives me nuts when race comes up and a white person spouts this. To me, I feel like they're saying, I choose not see who you are, I choose not to acknowledge a very real part of your reality."curlykidzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12618132333120542540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-35024895474602118712009-11-04T04:28:49.808-08:002009-11-04T04:28:49.808-08:00Your friends are garbage. Get new ones.Your friends are garbage. Get new ones.Danhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09750215304228534982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-28605858567340675242009-11-04T03:31:23.505-08:002009-11-04T03:31:23.505-08:00I have realized in the last few years that it beco...<i>I have realized in the last few years that it becomes nearly impossible for me to maintain friendships with white people who are not actively anti-racist. It is not enough for them to just be nice people or to generally not be racist. The people who have consistently disappointed me in that area, by questioning instead of supporting my claims of racism, for instance, have lost my friendship. If my white friends truly see me as both an equal and a friend, they will be personally invested in my equality.</i><br /><br />You have no idea how much I needed to hear this now.RVCBardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06481089855894764409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-26361004564183602402009-11-04T01:00:40.567-08:002009-11-04T01:00:40.567-08:00Maybe everyone should realize that some people jus...Maybe everyone should realize that some people just want to be assholes. And the "friend" who didn't stick up for you sounds like a doormat. And her "boyfriend" sounds like a Douchbag. Stop talking to them, and delete their numbers from your Cellphone. There are appoximately 7billion people in the world, and there are plenty who would love to be your friends. Why waste precious time with douchbags? <br /><br />There. Problem solved.Marie Simashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07255293343641053930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-45618866379623696122009-11-03T21:09:47.024-08:002009-11-03T21:09:47.024-08:00I suppose I shouldn't be shocked, but I've...I suppose I <i>shouldn't</i> be shocked, but I've never heard of such a racist Halloween costume. I don't think I'd feel safe in a group where someone was wearing that. I certainly wouldn't feel safe around a man who finds it humorous.<br /><br />It's incredibly hard to reevaluate friends [esp. best friends], and cut loose some from time to time, but it must be done. This is one of those times. Your friend's willingness to be involved with a man who finds this behavior acceptable is her business - but you don't have to subject yourself to it. <br /><br />It's time to start cultivating relationships with people who care how you feel. I, too, echo <i>thesciencegirl</i>: "It is not enough for them to just be nice people or to generally not be racist. ... If my white friends truly see me as both an equal and a friend, they will be personally invested in my equality."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-25990702424190200562009-11-03T20:49:15.857-08:002009-11-03T20:49:15.857-08:00thesciencegirl said: "I have realized in the ...thesciencegirl said: "I have realized in the last few years that it becomes nearly impossible for me to maintain friendships with white people who are not actively anti-racist. It is not enough for them to just be nice people or to generally not be racist."<br /><br />This. So much this.<br /><br />I can't be close to people who don't value my voice and my experiences. I can't be close to people who proudly declare that they "don't see race", or tell me "I don't even think of you as black!". Because it's those same people who don't see racism, especially when they themselves are the ones perpetrating it. <br /><br />Simone, I'm sad and angry on your behalf, and disappointed in your friend. I'm glad you found this blog. It isn't perfect, but it's a pocket of the world where it's safe(r) to have hard conversations, and to call racism by its rightful name.Umbrella Todayhttp://www.umbrellatoday.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-92024457950394223482009-11-03T20:43:05.105-08:002009-11-03T20:43:05.105-08:00I don't want to repeat anything anyone else sa...I don't want to repeat anything anyone else said, because I think there are great points (and also because it's way past my bedtime) but I will say this:<br /><br />Your friend is probably not the problem. Though she clearly has self-esteem issues that cause her to act a certain way around her boyfriend, I think she is probably more aware than your average white person and her bad behavior stems from her inability to stand up for herself in front of this guy (who a) is clearly racist and b) you said "has changed her" in other ways, so seems like a bad guy all-around).<br /><br />I think your girl friend is worth holding on to, but I have no idea what you should say to her. Perhaps someone else will.Jillianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01792137126898623243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528074983146803930.post-15818410350724002312009-11-03T20:33:22.421-08:002009-11-03T20:33:22.421-08:00Oh. My. God.
Okay, it's been twenty minutes s...Oh. My. God.<br /><br />Okay, it's been twenty minutes since I read the post and I still can't up with something coherent. Every time I think that I have seen the worst stupidity and insensitivity that the average person has to offer, that the bar has been set so impossibly low that nobody else can get under it... somebody manages to squirm under the bar. <br /><br />A blackface costume with lynching as the gag. O. M. F. G. What, blackface itself wasn't obnoxious enough?<br /><br />Your friend fails for not calling him on it (and for not backing you up when you did), and he just fails as a human being in general. Other than that, others such as LisaMJ and Macon have already done an excellent job of going in-depth.<br /><br />As for me, I'm going to spend the rest of the night mentally jaw-dropped over this one. Seriously, WTF.Robin Wolfehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12982904546065213043noreply@blogger.com